|Posted by anonymous at August 11, 2011|
My life struggle has always been just that...a struggle. I had same old shitty childhood everyone else had, abusive drunk of a father, parents that divorced while I was young, and had hard time at school etc.
I joined the Marines at 17 and gotthe fuck out to do something with my life and i did.
Thing is. I did everything right all my life and followed all the rules and never fucked up and i got repaid by having everything bad that could happen to someone in any given situation happen to me..example got married was actually happy and 7 years down the road she is diagnosed with a terminal disease. We decide to fight it for 2 years and without any signs she decides it would be better for myself and our two year old daughter to kill herself because she believed she was a burden to us...She decided that on her 32 birthday she would take a lethal dose of pills tie a bag around her head and hook the bag up to helium tanks and fall asleep forever..
After everything her and I had been through, Combat deployments, deaths, tragedy life decided to just kick her while she was down again. I guess now being alone with my daughter I have never really had a "good streak" or a lucky break and my wisdom id like to depart "being from a broken deppressed shell of a man" is that no matter how hard life is to you its trivial because it can always be worse. And the sad truth is that no one truly cares about anyone but themselves, and the few good hearted people that are still o...
|Posted by Sammy at August 5, 2011|
I thought that my life was going so well. I was happy, looking after my brothers two kids and well happy. I don't know why but I was chosen to end a life. When I think back now, I had two warnings that something was going to happen but I was not to know.
I was at home with my mum looking after my niece and nephew whating for my other nephew to come over from school. Once we were all inside, I had to run out somewhere. I was reversing down the driveway and I ran over something, I thought that it must had been a toy or what ever. So I didn't stop until I was able to see what it was though my side mirror.
She was my only niece, 18 months old, laying there. I ran over her and she was dead. It's been just over two years now and I still remember the look on my sister's face and the words that she said to me.
How dose someone live with that. I see my sister every day and most days she still dose not talk to me. And why should she, I couldn't do the one thing that I was meant to do. To look after her daughter.
I live with this every day 24/7, and I feel that I should have to keep the pain, I will never forgive my self. I know that I am currently needed to be around now, but hopefully soon one day she will never have to see me every again. For I have nothing to live for, so I just wait for it all to end.
|Posted by Zia at July 23, 2011|
At age five I noticed my parents started fighting. And I didn't do anything about it. By age seven, my parents were divorced. And custody of me went to my father because my mother was laid off. For a couple months everything was fine. But then, my dad didn't let my mom visit anymore and he got very depressed. A couple weeks after that, he started beating me.
That same year, he got married to my stepmom, and completely forgot about me.
The next year i met a guy and we became friends, two years later i found out that he got beaten too. At age 11 we ran away together. We lasted 3 years on our own and became a couple. A couple weeks after we got together, I found out he was cheating on me.
We just broke up and moved on but I was devastated. Two months after, a gang came up and tried to rape me, but my ex-boyfriend defended me and died in the process. By that time the cops had come and i was saved and taken home. I started cutting myself after I found out my mom had died in a car crash while i was a runaway. I now had a little brother too.
When i was 16, my little brother caught me cutting and I was sent to a mental institution. I made some friends but one died.
I am now 18 and just got out of the institution.
I live on my own and Im having trouble with school because I never got a good education and I am very antisocial and labled an emo.
|Posted by AP at July 6, 2011|
For my 18th birthday I was burying a man that was like my second father in the ground due t him killing himself and never understood why. Couple years later I get a call from my uncle and knew something was wrong but no one believed me. I told my family that he was going to hurt himself but still no one believed me and he lived 600 miles awat. Couple days later he put a pistol to his head and killed himself. The feeling I have everyday is horrible and it eats away at your soul. I cry myself to sleep almost everynight. Then the day of my graduating from college I find out that my grandfather who I was extremely close to dies the night before. I just feel like god hates me and doesn't want me to be happy but I still praise his name. I just want to be happy again. I have not felt happy in five years. Why does god like to see my suffer?
|Posted by alli at July 5, 2011|
i work full time, and have since i was 16, i attend college full time. i have never done drugs, and i do not drink. i don't have any children, which is surprising these days. i'm TWENTY.
my mom became ill with an unknown disease when i turned twelve. it ruined everything. she was a brilliant hard working woman, until one day, blood surrounded her heart and filled her lungs. as soon as she was released from the hospital (four months later) she was in a car accident. a group of teenage girls werent paying attention & smacked into her from behind, damaging her spine. after her long term disibility ran out, she was determined unable to work and titled handicapped. i got my first job at 16, and signed a paper allowing myself to work 30 hours as long as my grades stayed passing. in the meantime, my mother was (and still is) battling the govt for social security.
i just got a new job so i'd make more money. things were finally looking up. i was able to afford the bills and my moms medicine, and still have money to save. well, the transmission goes out in my car. a 1400 dollar fix. it's still in the shop, because i cannot afford the payment just yet. next, my school denies me financial aid, meaning i cannot go back to school unless i pay 5,000 on my own. and finally, tonight, my one source of transportation, my moms car completely dies, and of course, it cant be a simple fix.
i am now forced to take a bus at 5am every day and get to work an hour before i start. i realize it could be worse, but really. i deserve a break. its been so hard. when i compare my life to friends my age, its insane. their parents bought their cars or can pay for repairs. their parents pay for their school.
why do bad things happen to good people?
|Posted by anonymous at June 13, 2011|
I am 26 yrs old 3 kids first 2 never had a real dad so i met someone who took me an my girls in we moved in we were engaged i found out i was preg which would b my ony happy pregnancy we had big plans found out we was having a boy things couldnt b better then a week before the baby was born he was tragically murdered ....my life sucksssss
|Posted by anon at June 7, 2011|
The first thing I am going to say is that this is not about me. This is about a girl I knew. Although I did not know her well, I knew she was a nice girl who went to my school and my friends were her friends.
Lauren was probably the nicest girl you could know, a talented athlete and a Girl Scout. She was 8-years-old when her life turned for the worst. Her father went insane. He raped and beat her, and it is obvious she tried to resist from his wounds. Then, two days after this started, her father thought she was the devil and attempted to murder her.
Lauren was only 8 when she died, first strangled then drowned and stabbed in the neck. Her father suffered a minor injury to the hand and is now in prison. Her mother and her younger brother are still alive but their lives have been greatly changed. No family, or innocent little girl, deserves this.
|Posted by Skim916boarder at May 8, 2011|
When I was born, my mom, from what i hear now from my older cousin, started rocking back and forth and became autistic after she had me. My brother was born 7 years before me. When I was three, apparently my mom had lost it, and divorced my dad. She moved away, and by away I mean more than halfway across the country. She landed in Illinois, where she met my soon to be stepfather, named Dennis. I went to see her every summer until I was ten, and that's when she ended her own life in Florida, while I was here in California with my dad. She stabbed herself in the heart while her mom was in the bathroom. My grandma came out, and there was my mother, bleeding and eventually passing away on the kitchen floor. I remember vividly, my dad propping up on his knees in a rocking chair, and telling me my mother was dead. I went into my brothers room, crying, and looked upon his face to see him crying. What a weird moment. i was ten, and did not understand. See, nobody had ever told me that she tried to kill herself 4 times before. That she was Bipolar and Manic-depressive. These details were kept hidden from me, to spare my young heart. A year later, my dad married a woman. This woman had two kids, they went to see their dad often, because he lived close, unlike my mother where contact was pretty much severed except for the summer when I went to see her those 7 years. This woman and I got into a little argument, which is when she told my "your mother was a stupid bitc...
|Posted by anonymous at April 16, 2011|
my life was fine,until my daughter passed away.now i have depression,post traumatic stress disorder.my other half acts as if nothing is wrong.and that i'm crazy.my job of 15 years fired me due to my daughters death.i cant get a job or unemployment.whats the point of anything.i've depleted my savings tolive off of.now thats gone.i'll probally lose my home that i've worked so hard for.i just think my life SUCKS so bad!!!!!!! i want to go home but the other half(my unconcern spouse) wants to stay in the country of california.believe me its a different country here.cus he smokes pot.and hes medically addicted.my state its illegal for medical use.he wont get a job.or help out.so YES MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!
|Posted by jota at April 14, 2011|
My mother died 12 years ago and my only brother killed himself 3 years ago... My father remarried and he's happy I think. I have uncles and grandparents and they are alright, but lost contact with all of my friends. I have a beautiful girlfriend, she and her family helped me a lot after my brother died, but for the past year I've been loosing all my interest for her, I mean, I like her as a friend and not as a gf anymore. This is because I'm completely crazy about a girl at work, that flirts with me, but she is going out with another guy... I don't want to hurt my gf's feelings, but if I leave her I'll be alone and I can't stop thinking about the other girl... Today I'm not depressed, but some days I just want to kill myself... I miss my brother and my mother a lot and I keep thinking I should be with them...
|Posted by Missy at March 22, 2011|
It was thaks giving night and I had dinner with earlier that day. My freind lived in the housenext to mine. I got to help someone across the street and as Ileave I saw my freinds hose on fire fuly involved I tried rescue her but he smoke and flames were too intense I ttreid serval times. The frie got quickly but it was too late she died from the smoke. the found her in the kitchen witha fire exstingqusher in her hand. Poor Kerri died. I was devasted when they she was dead. I did go hto her funeral and I did say some wors about her ad the things I remeber of her and we both got job the same place. I miss her help ing get sales contract from dealers. We both worked a is till do for Galaxy Enter prises we make travel trailer s motot homes RVs and campers. A home away from home is our jingleI will always miss kerrie she alwys had a smile on her face and her voice as she said good morning to the other folks that work in the office. We all miss her. I think I could done something cue her. I want end al after her death but I knew in my heart it would bring her back. My doesn't suck but with my freind that is the only part of my life that does suck.
|Posted by Thomas at February 22, 2011|
I had freind named Chris and he also one of my clas mates. We all had graduated high school together. I had seen everyone for about five years when i got the ym ivitation to my 5 year class reunion and in the letter it said that Chris was dead. I was notified about that. I talked to Share and she the chris killed the night before Mother's Day. He was doing drugs and his girlfreind Luara wanted him to stop or she going to leave him. He wouldn't and she was there when he pulled out gun and said I should kill myself if I can't have you and he pulled the trigger and it went off and killed him while he was high on drugs. Poor Luara had witness that. She remember until her dying day. No one should ever witness someone kill themself. The memories would too much for some folks.
|Posted by neverhappy at February 13, 2011|
I never had friends had a dad that really wanted a boy drank away my adult life. My husband shot himself infront of me while I was pregnat with my baby. I have no skills no money am old and worn out and can't get hired if my life depended on it. About ready to be homeless in a very cold climate. My dad just died and now I found out my daughter has depression and health problems and no health insurance.
Please don't worry about the gf bf or if you are popular. You have time to change it if you don't waste your time like I did. Now I can't find a way to move on no matter what I try. I went back to school and still can't get hired.
There is no where to turn but the only thing I know for sure is Im not taking the cowards way out. It won't do me any good and really really screws up other people like I wouldn't want my worst enemy hurt.
You have time mine pretty much ran out and I have to live with the mistakes I made. No way to make up for them now. Im just kinda waiting for it to be over and hope I don't end up in a cardboard box or in a welfare nursing home where you don't even get to eat when or what you want. And get bathed by someone I don't know when I don't feel like it.
Pills didn't help prayers didn't help talking didn't help. Im just waiting. DON'T waste your time make your life better in anyway while you Find a way NOW while you can. Even if you try to make a difference to someone else and help them. Best way to help yourself is too help someone else. I don't even have resourse to do that.
|Posted by Lost1 at December 28, 2010|
I have never known happiness. I was the product of my mom's rape; a fact she never let me forget. The youngest of 5 kids. To help raise us, my mom found one abusive drunk after another. She dealt with it all through drugs. Even now, her body still lives but she is dead. I had no hope as a child. Until I made my first friend at the age of 9. For the first time, I saw some joy in the world. One night, we were all attacked and she was killed. I got to see the only person who gave a d*** about me killed. I spent most of my early teen years in and out of trouble. Taking almost any drug I could find. We lived hard and most of the kids I hung out with died from drug over-dose, gang-related violence, and even random acts of nature. In my late teens, I started dating a nice clean-cut girl who really helped my turn my life around. Then one day, she told me she was pregnant and I was going to be a father. And I thought to myself I would be a great father. The father I never had. I would be everything a father is suppose to be. My son was born september 11, 2001 (i know, wierd). Even through the tragedies of that day, I have never been happier. However, my son was born sick. He lived for three months and died on December 14th of that year. It drove his mom overboard and she took her own life. And once again, I was alone. It has been proven over and over again there is no hope in this world. No joy...no love....no point. I try to keep going. And everyday I sit in my empty apartment struggling to find a reason. I keep telling myself "everything happens for a reason" and that God never puts more on us then we can handle. I'm just so tired of seeing pain everywhere i look. I buried my friends, I buried the love of my life, and I buried my child. What reason could there be for that? I'm just so tired and I don't want to do this anymore.
|Posted by anonymous at December 26, 2010|
About 2 years ago, I had a normal (average) life. I had a good job, lots of friends, big happy family, etc. And althought I was stressed out a lot, I was happy expecting my first child. The pregnancy was going normal (or so the doctors thought), but the week i reached six months my baby died inside the womb. The moment my life was over, all the dreams and plans i had for me and my baby boy died too. Giving birth to a baby that i could never hear crying, or smiling is the most painful experience and i don't wish that on the worse person. I'm someone who always beleive in God, and always been there for anyone who needed my help and i give anything to make others happy. How could this happen to me? As if losing my son wasn't enough, his father tried to commit suicide, i never saw him after that day in the hospital. He called once to apologize for not being 'stonng' enough. I had to plan our baby's funeral alone, I've been dealing with all the emotions of grief imaginable. Now 18 months later it isn't any better. Each day i feel worse than the day before, sometimes i'm hopeful but that feeling doesn't last long. Most days i think about ending my life, but i know i won't because it would cause my mother too much pain. Before this i was very social, i was the one everyone called for help, advice, or just about anything, but i've been so distant from eveyone including close friends and especially my family. I no longer attend any gathering, to make me feel worse, it seems eveyd...