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my life....is messed up.

Posted by Shel995 at May 22, 2012
Tags: 2012 May  Relationship

for th past few years, my life has been turned upside down. Between Miscarriges at 17, living on my own, having to drop out of high schoolo and raise my unruly sister...its been hell. not to mention my mom is pushing me to get pregnant.

Part one, My break up of 2011.
I was dating him for over a year. his mom went crazy, called me a liar blocked my number from his phone. and told him to dump me, but i beat him to the punch, i wanted to commit suicide. when i broke up with him. i vomited for 3 days straight i was so sad. we were perfect, i know wed stil b together with his mother wasnt crazy. i loved him, and still o, but i know i can push throughit somehow.


Part two, Edward,

we met thru friends, he was a great guy, we dated for 5 months, kinda. we spent new years together while my mom left me, ev on xmas to be with her trashy husband, anna was out getig ttashed at a party. so it was just me and him and a few goo movies. we cuddled and didnt do anything, soon my enbtire life was entangled in his life. then we decided to seperate and think things over.

i got pregnant, i was 8 weeks along, the day i told him, is the day i went under soooo much stress i miscarried. and he didnt even care, instead he decided to tell everyone i told ab0out the baby, that it was a lie. :'( he didnt care, in stead he wanted to date the person i told, and she didnt knw anything about the pregnancy. this hurts me so bad to even think aout any of this. he was such an asshole. idk why i even dated him,

Part 3,
im always being compared to my younger prettier thinner, slimmer, slutty sister. she is 16, 140 lbs, 5'3 and bright red hair, tan skin, always trying to impress. she can have any guy she wants, recently ive been liking this one guy, hes been my friend for a long time. well. we kissed and spent the night together and just tried dating...he said yes, well, about an hour ago!!!!! hibrother wanted to meet his gf...he asked my sister if she would pretend to be his gf so he could show her off :'( i am on the verge of suicide im so sick of men in general! i want to die of embaressment!! and just run away fromthis damn city,. im tired of people always calling me fat and ugly, im fat but guess what im not a bithc!!! im a mture person who lives on her own, takes care of her sister, who screws her over left and right, i lost a baby, my mom is always leaving me, dsnt care to talk to me. bvasically chose her husband over her kids. i work 24/7 had to drop out, and work on drivers ed, and clean an entire house. and im just wondering why i cant get a guy to just stay with me...i had one, but his mother was crazy11 and edward...he was just selfish. mentally selfish, and kyle...hes a guy who only wants sex from anyone but wants a gf who looks like a model...


Votes:


Similar Entries:
i just wanna get messed up June 2, 2010
My Messed Up Life.. April 18, 2012
justify my existence? is it justified November 3, 2010
my life sucks July 3, 2011
it still sucks August 10, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 22,May,12 15:44

I can already tell you're a child (although you will vehmently disagree) based on your story. Any advice I have for you will throughly and immediately tossed aside, because, as a teenager, you are incapable of seeing anything other than the present moment and your own suffocating unhappiness. Even if I add the tag "I've been through this", you still will imagine your situation to be unique. First, suicide is never an option. There is no do-over when killing yourself. Once it happens, you have thrown away everything given to you and whatever could be given to you in the future. Because there is no future. Two, stop having sex. You are a child and have no idea what sex is, means, or really entails. When you are able to see outside your situation, then you will understand sex. You need to focus on getting into your future, not ruining your present. Good luck.


By Cursed at 22,May,12 17:17

Dear Shell995-
In my personal interpretation of the cards drawn for you plain in simple: DO NOT GET PREGNANT WITH A MAN THAT DOES NOT LOVE YOU! WAIT! BE PATIENT! Here is what your cards said:
You're Past Card: THE HANGED MAN- (reversed) When the Hanged Man shows in reverse, it’s possible that the time has come to let go of an outdated attitude, situation, or friendship. Think things through first, of course, but be aware that a sensible sacrifice made now of something that no longer works for you will open up your life to something even more positive than what you “let go of.” In reversal, this card particularly encourages you to not fight change. The Hanged Man generally shows a life or situation at a crossroads - one with only two options e.g. in or out, up or down, yes or no. This is not a time to attempt to control people, outcomes or situations, it is a time to look critically at yourself and your options, and to be deliberate in your progress. If you don’t know what to do, at all, it’s often a clear signal to do nothing In LOVE-the theme is generally (and more emphatically) one of letting go. You may need to “let go” of a vision of a particular kind of relationship or a relationship with a certain person as being “the only way that you can be happy".
In essence- Let go- of your past...
Present Card: ALLIANCE: The Two of Wands(reversed)- The reversed 2 of Wands can indicate a pleasant surprise headed your way soon. Take the time to think positively, and to be grateful for the gifts that life is bringing you. Allow yourself to take joy and pleasure in the little things. In general the reversed 2 of Wands reminds us to put emotion in perspective. Sometimes what you feel is not the total reality of the situation. Still, sometimes you have to make a change and try new things in order to enjoy life. Weigh the balance carefully if you are considering taking a risk and/or making big changes in your life. In LOVE: if you're looking for love, a new relationship is very likely to begin soon. Someone could quite literally sweep you off your feet or surprise you in a stunning, uplifting way. Enjoy the magic. If you're lonely and can't imagine how there could be love on your horizon; make sure that you are putting yourself where you can be found. Love is unlikely to come knocking while you're sitting home in the dark reading a book or watching televison. Reach out.
So, my dear, you are young, there is hope, and according to the cards- love could be in the air. Do not be impatient. You still need to grow-
As for your FUTURE: here is the card that was chosen: GLORY: The Six of Wands: (Reversed)- The 6 of Wands reversed is a positive omen. It can mean that despite delays and challenges, that things you have been hoping for or working on may finally come through. This is not a time to let fear hold you back. The reversed 6 of Wands is about victory. However, you may need to be cautious about in whom you place your trust. There may be one person who on the surface looks like a supporter but who may acttually be jealous or negative in some way. Trust your instincts about people and don't hesitate to stand up for yourself if necessary. IN LOVE: If you are looking for love, you may be fearing that you will never find love. This does not have to be the case - unless you make it the case. If you find yourself feeling that way, look at your self esteem. Believe yourself worthy of being loved; because you are worthy!
The cards have been read- take the interpretation for what you will...
Cursed
By IceWriter at 23,May,12 13:29

To you and the poster above, I don't recall her saying she wants to become pregnant. She's upset by how Edward had accused her of lying after she had a miscarriage. Wanting to have a child and reporting an incident in which one was falsely accused of putting up the facade of having one and being rightfully upset about it are two different things.
And to Shel995. I think it's best if you learned how to love yourself. Maybe you don't need men. Or anyone else, for that matter, if everyone out there absolutely must make you feel like crap. Take pride in what you do, even though it may not appear to be very much, because where you are now, it's of significance. And so are you. Nurture yourself. Cry when you lay in bed at night, or in the shower if you must. Seek yourself for who you truly are. There's nothing wrong with just a liitle self pity while or before you can love yourself.


By anonymous at 09,Sep,12 07:21

two weeks ago i and my boyfriend had a conflict, so with that he broke up with me saying he no longer wanted to associate with me anymore, i never knew he was interested in working out his marriage with another girl, i was helpless because i loved him so much morethan myself, after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands, he really was leaving me, i could not stay without him, i tried to figure things out with him but he is not listening me, he told me that he is no longer interested that i should look for someone else, i tried all my best but things were not working out, so i had no choice than to look around for help, i went into search of spell caster to help me bring him back to me with the help of spell and after searching i actually finalize to work with prophetharry@ymail.com in regards of my lover. after 3 days as he told that my lover will return. my lover returned in surprising way, i was chocked and was so happy I can't say how much I'm grateful, My lover not only came back to me, but has left his other girl and now has engaged me, we are getting married next month, I don't know what I would have done without this spell caster.
By anonymous at 20,Mar,13 10:59

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By anonymous at 20,Mar,13 11:00

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By anonymous at 20,Mar,13 11:01

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By TRACY SMITH at 17,Aug,13 20:15

i am miss Tracy from UK, two weeks ago i and my boyfriend had a conflict, so with that he broke up with me saying he no longer wanted to associate with me anymore, i never knew he was interested in working out his marriage with another girl, i was helpless because i loved him so much more than myself, after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands, he really was leaving me, i could not stay without him, i tried to figure things out with him but he is not listening me, he told me that he is no longer interested that i should look for someone else, i tried all my best but things were not working out, so i had no choice than to look around for help, i went into search of spell caster to help me bring him back to me with the help of spell and after searching i actually finalize to work with (ukosespelltemple@yahoo.com) in regards of my lover. after 3 days as he told that my lover will return. my lover returned in surprising way, i was chocked and was so happy I can’t say how much I’m grateful, My lover not only came back to me, but has left his other girl and now has engaged me, we are getting married next month, I don’t know what I would have done without this spell caster you can contact him today ukosespelltemple@yahoo.com. is spell is for a better life.


By anonymous at 21,Aug,13 23:58

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Posted by. miss Sandra Chali


By anonymous at 28,Aug,13 18:38

my name is ELIZABETH ZELE from United States and i have been trying to conceive for so many years now more than 15years and i have had 2 miscarriages over the years , i went for series of test , health seminars and all that steel there is nothing working for me ,this my situation made my husband get depressed , one day i was stuffing GOOGLE on pregnancy tips and found out how so many women who has have like my situation have contacted ASHRA SPELL TEMPLE the great spell caster online and they got there solution ,

at first i was skeptical that it was a scam but i just had to give it a try and i never new that it was my moment of break through , i did get the email from one Mrs. Margaret who was help by this same ashra spell to get pregnant , i copied the email and i sent ashra an email and it was replied and i requested for the pregnancy spells after some questions and answer , the items to be used was gotten and the pregnancy spell was cast , the first month passed nothing happened and i was thinking maybe it was just like the others and it was a fair trial until the second month i noticed i missed my period for 11days when i check i found out i was pregnant and i can proudly say to all that am a proud mother of a baby boy now , for all those that think such things are scam just like i use to think is that give ASHRA a fair trial and i say you will never regret it, just like how Mrs. Margaret gave out ASHRA EMAIL THAT I COPIED so am also giving it out , you can contact this great spell caster ashra on email:ashraspelltemple@gmail.com or call +2348058176311 , I hope this information gives some one out there hope and faith


THANKS


ELIZABETH ZELE


FROM UNITED STATES


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By Kenisha at 24,May,16 23:42

It's a relief to find somneoe who can explain things so well


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