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waiting for a better year - but running out of time

Posted by sr at June 8, 2012
Tags: 2012 June  Relationship

I don't know where to start.
Left my ex because he got violet - with two kids. Remarried and had some violent times - what is it with my choices

Were still together - 5 yrs ago had some bowel problems and had surgery, woke up to surgeons saying I had a massive growth on my pelvis that was cancerous, but they couldnt clear it so game me a coloostomy - did it as an emergency to it was right at my waist - horrible - hard to treat and hard to clean. A few years before that my son got hit by a car walking home from school on the crosswalk and almost died. Pulmonary embolism at 18.
Got through that - got the collostomy - got through that too - and they did surgery and removed the growth - reversed the collostomy, my son got better and things were looking up until 3 months later I found a lump on my breast. and yes, it was the dreaded C. I had just taken a new job and needed it, money was tight - but after chemo and time off I couldn't keep going - so took a bit of time to recuperate and lo and behold my husband looses his job. We spent the summer looking for work, paying the mortgage and not much else and we finally both landed jobs. I get back into working and less than a year later my mom dies. She was an amputee and living with my brother who pronised her a home because her and my dad had paid into their home for years - well he decided he had to move, kicked her out - I got mad - and we didn't speak for 2 years.

so mom died in march 2012 and im just getting over that and then the light of my life - my shetland sheepdog has a heart attack and he's gone. He was here in the morning - acting normal. Like a pup - and gone when I got home from work - oh and a month before my mom died, ny husband looses his job again - in construction as a project manager and no work.

So here I am - wishing when I had the cancer - I had died - it would have been a damn sight easier


Similar Entries:
Just waiting. February 27, 2012
Wow. Life is so crappy. June 15, 2010
dose my life suck? July 19, 2011
alone April 2, 2011
Waiting to leave this world. December 27, 2009

New Comment

By anonymous at 12,Jun,12 02:15

thank god your bitch mom died, hahahah im dig her body up and fuck her lifeless corpse.
By Cursed at 12,Jun,12 10:39

Ha Ha Ha. What are you twelve? What a waste of oxygen, I wish I could chop off your balls so you wouldn't be able to breed anymore morons like yourself. Go back to jerking off-

By anonymous at 12,Jun,12 10:31

The above comment is totally uncalled for. Its stupid considering the OP never mentioned that her mom bothered her in any way. I just wonder, how decayed your mindset and how flawed your character is, that you would stoop so low to write such garbage.

By broken at 12,Jun,12 17:35

You left your first husband because he turned violet?

Yeah if my partner turned a deep shade of purple I would leave too.
By anonymous at 13,Jun,12 10:01

By Cursed at 14,Jun,12 11:21 Fold Up

OMG! Broken- you are soooo cool can we be friends? I just love it when you put other people down. I wanna be in your clique. Please?
By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 23:04

broken, what colour do your turn when you finished eating shit and getting assraped by donkeys?

By anonymous at 12,Jun,12 20:36

You waiting for a better year well than you can forget it. There's nothing left for you here. Karma is whooping your ass up the wall so why not go a head and jump or something.
By anonymous at 13,Jun,12 17:31

I agree that it must be karma. Maybe you were a Nazi or Pol Pot or something in your last life. What goes around comes around.

By anonymous at 13,Jun,12 09:59

I threw in the towel at age 5 or 6, just been losing ever since. it's been a long, lonely and painful ride, not really justifiable in any way, just needless human suffering. lets all hope for a new world order and more social planning so that society will stop repeating mistakes like me.

I have some ideas on the issue, like end single family dwellings, maybe house people with others their age, or somerthing like that.
My life is such a nightmare, trapped in a dysfunctional family and became unwell and then no longer normal and dont fit in.
it's hell
people should't let this shit happen

By anonymous at 13,Jun,12 13:46

Boo Hoo Beitches,

Life is what you make it not what people give you or you happen to be the recipient of all good fortune. We all have a hand dealt to us with people availiable to help - use them or drown in your own tears.
By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 02:21

today im going to
call 2 buisinesses and inquire about work
try to get my Serving it right certification and
get an application for volunteering at the SPCA
for a long time I thought that I could run away and start over somewhere else
that just doesn't seem like a realistic plan
I have to go out and (not to be narcissisti) look in the mirror, which is other people and see how they will treat me, based the choices i make, past and present.
I have made some TERRIBLE choices in the past
so it's very easy to hide under a rock like I have been doing
but i want to support myself
I want to be able to pay $400 a month for rent to my mom
and I want to stop confining myself to this basement.
By broken at 14,Jun,12 08:14

Post your own confession jackass, don't hijack this sob story
By Cursed at 14,Jun,12 10:20 Fold Up

Good for you-
By broken at 14,Jun,12 11:25

I'm sorry everyone- I know I am such a shithead! It's just that my parents locked me in a closet all the time and made me eat my peas. I've got serious complications, my dick is small and I try to compensate by being an asshole-
By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 18:13

Broken, would you believe that's, some idiot was trying to pretend like they're you. So get it together dumb ass, you couldn't sound like yourself.
By Cursed at 14,Jun,12 19:15 Fold Up

I'm a butt fucking queer who likes licking the mildew from between a dead hooker's ass crack.
By Cursed at 14,Jun,12 19:30

Actually, I am a woman dipshit. Which would make me a lesbian- like duh? nice try though- it almost sounded like me-
Broken ass crack is my favorite-
By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 23:06

your all a bunch of faggots that should die after getting buttfucked by camels

By top seo guys at 24,Oct,13 18:46

jlqXTZ Looking forward to reading more. Great blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Great.

New Comment