My life is an emotional train wreck for me. Im born into a religion that I think I feel I shouldnt belive in anymore, but if I do, half of my life would be ripped away from me. My friends, my family, my enviroment, everything.
I never have been to a nonmuslims home in my entire FUCKING life. Im tired of all the God Damn- even if there is one- shit that I need to follow, and all of these religios blind idiots Im surrounded by sometimes. I want to tell my mom about this, but if I do, she will tell my dad who will laugh.
He would sit down on his GINORMOUS ASS AND LAUGH
he expects that I will go to a FUCKING IVY LEAGE SCHOOL AND MAKE TONS OF MONEY
AND BECOME A DOCTOR OR SOME OTHER KIND OF BULLSHIT JOB THAT I DONT WANT TO DO WHEN I WANT TO BE A TV SHOW WRITER
he is always racist, esscpecially to African Americans and Mexicans( Im deeply sorry if I was offensive to you)
Sometimes he can be a very kind and gentle man. But other times, when he is angry, he is the meanest, cold hearted bastard you will know
He is the reason I am embarrassed to be Pakistani sometimes.
And if anyone I know discovers that I wrote this story, escpically dad, I will take those prized decortave swords decorated around the house and kill myself Laugh on that you Fat Racist
Or hang myself with one of my moms scarfs, the things I love the most
But I cant kill myself, my family would miss me, and my parents would be known as the two idiots who failed to love there daughter when they had all the time in the world
I want to teach them a strict lesson they will never forget, and would love me forever.
The othher Day, my sister wanted to invite a friend over. My dad was in an unexpected bad mood, and started to scream at us, telling us that our house was filthy and it looked like it belounged to Mexicans. When we tried to clean the room, I started crying, and eventually my little sister started to also. My dad came in and started to laugh, asking us why we are crying. suddenly, my head began to throb and I was seeing red. Then I started to laugh. I was smiling and laughing with tears in my eyes. I walked out the door, went into the living room, and was staring at the wall and was laughing at the wall until i decided to come back to the room and check on my sister
*Dad, I swear to the Fucking God you belive in, if you find this funny, I will never love you again. I will try to kill myself and they will send me away and lock me up so I can never have to see your ugly face again. Just me and my laptop, you think I would give a damn? Since mom's a mental doctor I can always see her. She could probably get a job were I'll be locked up. It all fucking works out.*
And no matter your dirrection in life you don't want to get sent away somw where for trying to kill your self it isnt fun nor will you wat it you will regret that desicion.
As like Cursed hasbrought up it won't be forever once you are out youcan start from scratch!live your own life wth the religion (if chossen or not) and own life style !
Just don't mold yourself inthe inxonsiderate hothead racist your father is ....
Chillpill signing off !
I also spend my entire life being religious, living with religious people, community etc. One good thing religion tell us is to be free but so religion is the only thing which make us slaves.
I have been people with different cultures, religion, believes as well. The only thing i so far understand (Which they don't) that don't follow anything blindly not even the GOD.. What i understand about the GOD or what i think is, GOD needs us as much as we need him.. For this just think, why he don't came on earth when everyone or his believers need him so much, the thing is he won't. Think it as people believe him, pray him when they are afraid specially in case of death or pain so why will he come when it is very right time or era to make people afraid, to give them pain and so to make them believe in GOD and GOD's stuff. and if no one will believe him anyone his existence will end. Believe me when i say and for those stupid people who will comment against it, type whatever u like, it doesn't change anything, i really don't care anymore what u say or believe me u can't teach me more then i already know..
And about ur father and other people, u can change them, thing is u can't change people, u can't change what there beliefs are, u can only manipulate them but that not well enough... The only thing u can do is change urself, be whatever u want, to be in end stop care about people. If it hurts u to live with them then just leave them, go as far away u can and never look back because it will only give u pain because in the end u r a religious man or atleast u were..