I am gay. It is a very lonely life. I have spent most of my years looking for the right girl. I truly believe there is not one girl out there for me. I have been debating this for most of my years too. Each women that I feel is right for me is straight. I spend many nights watching lesbian flicks and watch these actresses and story lines. I just can't imagine I will ever get the opportunity to fall in love. There is some people (ie friends) who tell me how beautiful I am how wonderful I am but I just don't see it. I don't believe in myself anymore. I am turning 36 this year and realizing the loneliness that will ensue. For all those people who think I choose to be gay is so wrong. If I could choose I would rather date a man and get married and have kids but that is not fair to him or the children. Does this make sense to anyone at all? There are times I wish I could just shout as loud as I can, "all I want is to love and be loved". Does everyone understand that I will be alone and die alone. That is really the bottom line. I don't want to be alone at my own funeral. And since I am opening up to whomever reads this I also want to state this.......... TO All those fucknuts in public who breathe hate against people any kind of people don't understand they are trying to push law and make decisions that affect me not them. Why do we let public officials push law or change that does not directly effect them or their love ones but it does effect complete strangers to them. I will be honest I am not sure I am pro "gay marriage" but I am pretty dam sure I am for "gay equality" because it gives us the same rights as my neighbor. You can call it or label it whatever you would like. My god.. why do we let people in government spread hate over other groups of people. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU for living with your wife and kids and 10K square foot home and puking out your mouth to the media that gay people should not have the same rights as you. Because you sir are wrong. You are trying to push a decision that will not effect you your wife your family but instead it will effect others. Since we are on the topic.. Listen up fucknuts in office. Stop taking away and instead why don't you add something useful. Stop patronizing. Just because the media is sucking on your every breathe for ratings (remember everyone has an angle) doesn't mean all of us people don't have a voice. | |
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Statistically speaking, I think you should ponder the idea of women converting to lesbianism the older they get, which for you- means more fish in the sea! Firstly, from my own personal experience, I have found that women my age (40) or older, are left by men who want to score the fantasized "younger" woman. Women my age are left by men all the time. Left "holding the bag". They get stuck with the kids, the mortgage, and are forced to seriously re-evaluate their lives. Finding a man without baggage when you've become "middle-aged" is nearly impossible. Hence, my theory that the older I get- the more (and perhaps others) would gravitate towards becoming "gay". I see women get dumped- and then they desperately loose weight, dye their hair, in attempts to "snare" another man. Fuck that shit. I am so sick of having to look like barbie I could scream! Being with another woman, is more relaxing in my opinion. You don't have to stress about them "leaving" you for a young bimbo, and women are probably less likely to ride their partner about being "perfect" looking- but maybe I'm wrong? I would think that being with a woman in a relationship would be more emotional, spiritual, and intellectually satisfying? All I know is that men are hard to deal with and the older I get, the less inclined I am to please them. Of course gay relationships suffer the same pitfalls that straight relationships undergo. But when I go to the grocery store, or out to a bar, I find that the women outnumber the men all the time. Especially in my town. I don't know what it is, but there are a ton of beautiful women in my area. Many of them are single. It just blows me away- and makes me wonder "Maybe I should go gay?"
Hmmmmm-
Cursed
Hope this clarifies my post-
Cursed
One time there was this broad i knew who was a nigger dyke and we went to the johnny qwik and bought some cheap vodka/ we drank it and she turned hetero just like that. I gave her the magnificent pile driver and she turned straighter than highway 108 in utah. But she was an ugger too, so I told her to fuck off and later she married a nigger. He's the president now though, so I guess it's really "fuck me".
Oh well.
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