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in over my head.

Posted by starstud76 at June 14, 2012
Tags: Failure  2012 June

I'm 35, male, single.
HIV positive for 9 years.
I can't keep a stable relationship.
I can't keep money in my account, it usually ends up negative about $300 with in 3 days after pay-day.
My credit is ruined, its below 600.
I can't control my spending.
I smoke pot at night to help me sleep.
I haven't had any real contact with my family, who live about 16 hours away, in a very long time. They don't call or even try to check in on me.
My mother died when I was a sr in high school and my father was never around.

I don't know what to do or how to fix it.
I know I've made some bad decisions but I want a way out.
I don't wanna feel like this anymore.


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New Comment

By little bitch gone at 22,Jun,12 12:10

For heaven sakes, please find peace. I'm wishing you all the best.

By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 12:30

not to tell you what to do but you have to want it bad and don't want to live this depressing life. Find things that is positive that makes you happy. God bless you

By dandan at 22,Jun,12 13:55

r u gay or str8?dont flame me im asking an honest question. im gay n if u r i dont mind knowing u even if ur poz. trust me im dead serious

By AIDS at 22,Jun,12 15:07


By Cursed at 22,Jun,12 15:13

Dear Friend-
I am so sorry that you have HIV and that you are suffering. My troubles pale in comparison. You have to be strong even though it must feel like the world is against you- Perhaps if you were to volunteer and share your story with others it may bring you some peace? Talking to complete strangers is a good way to vent, but what you need right now is a strong support of people who care and love you. My heart goes out to you- and a big cyber hug too...
By FDS at 22,Jun,12 20:02


By Truth at 22,Jun,12 19:07

Well lets see here. You're a pillow biter , who has the HIV, with no personality who spends more money than he makes and has a shitty job and you smoke pot all the time.

Amazingly, no one wants to talk to you! Holy fuck....whoda thunk it???!!

If I were you I'd go to large multiplex theaters whenever that vampire movie comes out that make the girls panties wet so they make their guys take them to it even though it sucks ass and I'd sit in the top row and make fart noises every time the vampires kiss. Then , after a lot of people tell you to cut it out some big dude who hates being where is already comes up and beats the shit out of you and you get blood on his knuckles and you say "Nyahhh nyahhh!! YOU GOT THE HIV NOW EVERYONE WILL THINK YOU'RE A RUMP PUMPER AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And then he'll kill you so there's your way out, plus he has the HIV now.

Alternatively you could stop spending beyond your limits, quit smoking pot, call your family instead of waiting for them, and just generally feeling sorry for your fucking pathetic faggoty ass. Seriously, if you're a home that's fine, but just stop being a whiny faggot...there's a difference.

Also, I just hate the fuck out of you.
By anonymous at 26,Jun,12 22:13

By anonymous at 13,Jul,12 02:24

Agreed on asshole
By anonymous at 08,Nov,12 18:52 Fold Up

This guy sits home on his computer most of time looking for people worse off than himself so he laugh about how good he has it compared to them and tell them that they are doing everything wrong even though he wouldn't last a day in the situation that he can't possibly comprehend. Obviously idiots like him make it WORSE for people with terminal diseases but this guy is too dumb to understand how time will gorse-feed his own bs back on him. On that day he finally realizes it, none of us will be around, nore will his "friends," and no one will give a damn about his shitty situation, besides some younger jackass that will laugh at his ineptitudes and how much of a douche he is without ever understanding what led to his unfortunate situation which likely wasn't his fault.

And that's why when I read comments like the above I laugh. Very hard.

By Wild fuckers at 22,Jun,12 22:04

Yeah you're beyond over your head. First all, you spending money that you don't have. You can't never keep a lady so you are the most fucked thing alive. Maybe in the next 5 to 10 years, you'll be dead or still dying from Aids, so just walk off a cliff. You have family but you want talk to them probably for some bullshit reason. What do you have left, nothing, nothing at all.
By anonymous at 26,Jun,12 22:14


By I cummed everywhere at 24,Jun,12 19:11

Wow, well are you just a fucking piece of dying shit. Just like at you, you spending money likes it going out of style. You living a fucked up crap of lonely life and you'll never get a girlfriend because she isn't about to die with you. Why not go ahead and end your pathetic life right now, it's perm, and so is your Aids.
By anonymous at 24,Jun,12 19:14

Ahh go fuck yourself you half spelling piece of hugh shit.
By anonymous at 26,Jun,12 22:15


By anonymous at 26,Jun,12 19:46

not helping at all this person needs advice its their life please this worls is so heartless.

By anonymous at 29,Jun,12 00:28

Okay, the person above says advice? You have HIV the damage is done. Your not magic Johnson where he spends millions on his medical cocktails to keep aids at bay. You will never (and out of respect for other unknowing humans be it male or female) have a good old hot orgasmic love making session with sly fun and satisfaction. Your choices are sparse. I would suggest pray for a cure, until you get your health back you can only be as kind to others as you can, try and do some good, speak to high school student about the disease you need to do something just incase there is some other plain of existence on the next level. Sounds like you are living hell on earth. Don't expect a stable relationship, really you are as close as any type of blood transfer to giving it to someone else. Okay example, your gums are in rough shape and some of your teeth are go and brush your blood gums, then the pretty innocent girl you had over grabs you blood stained tooth brush and just has introduced here self to the HIV clubs newest member. It's not all through injection bodily fluids like cum, one broken condom and if she or he in your case has a lesion up the lower bowl.... You got it. If you don't start taking mega doses of vitamins and all natural healthy food your immune system fails full blown aids and you usually die of tuberculosis or a slow painful death of pneumonia. You may need to keep smoking medicinal pot don't know where your from but in some countries just a prescription from a doctor is need. Who in the fuck gives a shit about a credit rating? Health first, then the other shit will follow, unless you meet another with HIV and have unprotected sex and create a super virus between the two of you. Non the less this is a life and death situation, so unless a cure can be found in the time you have left before full blown aides hits you better pray to god if there is a god. How did you get it? Injection? Giving winos blow jobs in an alley or do you take it up the poop shoot, the closet thing you will have to a sexual. SAFE sexual relationship is jerking off to porn life is totally different friend
By anonymous at 08,Nov,12 19:01

Dude, you're beyond naive and immature and you have no understanding of how that could be a bad thing for not only others, but yourself.

Fortunately the world is beginning to hold ignorant pricks like you responsible for what you write on a computer, cowardly, alone, desparately trying to put down others to make yourself feel better about your shitty life.

How does it feel to have your liable suicidal-promoting opinion online forever on a site you'll probably never return to?

By Roll-aides rock Hudson on a whee at 29,Jun,12 01:07

Okay on your list, the two most important things keeping HIV in check and getting in touch with your family, they need to know the truth, if you get busy working at these things you may gain some achievements that will set you at some type of peace. HIV is hard to accept but it needs to be done. There are new breakthroughs sending small sparks of hope, get to your doctor

By anonymous at 30,Jun,12 21:09

HIV is no longer the death sentence it once was. Keep your health in check, be responsible and learn to manage your finances better. Keep track of where your money goes, are you blowing it all on weed? Make a budget and stick to it. Plan to put 10% of your money in savings. If this is impossible get a better job. Consider joining a support group for people with HIV, perhaps you will meet someone there.

By anonymous at 30,Jun,12 22:22

you don't have to see your family, it's optional.

i choose not to have one and i'm perfectly happy with it.

where the fuck is all your money going?

find some volunteer work or something to keep you busy so that you will not spend like a maniac

By anonymous at 09,Jul,12 22:53

Im pretty much in the same boat however i dont have hiv. I really think you should try aand reconnect with your family..i know
its hard...i wish you the best
By anonymous at 13,Jul,12 02:25

how r u pretty much in the same boat without hiv,
i am pretty much in the same boat as a woman however i have a penis.
By anonymous at 13,Jul,12 02:25

i think family was a good point if possible

By anonymous at 13,Jul,12 02:27

While it would be hard to change hit status, i think magic still has a decent life. I mean not all of us can be magic johnson, but i hope you can find peace and happiness.
Maybe try religion?
By anonymous at 13,Jul,12 02:27

hit = hiv

By anonymous at 07,Aug,12 02:08

heres to the asshole who wrote stfu to me. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!

By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 19:41

And my final comment to all you degenerates who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.

By anonymous at 01,Nov,12 03:01

The only thing you can do is pray I feel the pain from reading this u are not although it seems like it god loves u and so do I please don't give up

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