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Posted by anonymous at July 3, 2012
Tags: July 2012

My roommate tried to kill himself a couple of times over the course of the last month. Beyond that, because of one of my actions, I spurred a chain of events that cost a guy every friend he had. He also has tried to commit suicide. I have a few other friends with a history of attempts. I myself have considered suicide, and have attempted before. I really wish not to now, especially seeing so many people I know thinking of doing just the same. I really want to help them. However, I feel dead to the world. I have disconnected myself from my family and a large amount of my former friends. Even the friends I'm with now, I have trouble striking up conversation with. For some reason I disconnect from the people I know the most; it's always me trying to end the relationship before they do. It's not even an effort, it's just something I seem to do naturally and always have. I used to try to purge myself of friends before attempts, that way nobody would care when I died; I figured I wouldn't hurt anyone that way. Basically, I'm one heck of dumb guy. And that's about that.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 08,Jan,13 04:49

i am the same way, always ruining my relationships with people and all the other things too

By anonymous at 08,Jan,13 15:50

You're not alone, there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way, I know for sure. What you need to remember is that the people who you've disconnected yourself from did and I reckon still love you. In my opinion that isn't something that goes away very easaly. the fact that you are writing this on the internet and feel sorry for yourself maybe means that you really miss those people. You need to push yourself at the moments you feel that inside to not feel sorry but instead of that to do something. Call your father or mother or anyone you feel the most trusted to! And just try and keep triyng even if you feel there's no need you still have to push yourself. Beceause that is the only solution. And maybe as stupid as it sounds.....go to a therapist and just try to figure it out, get some self-confidence! You kept on making friends, right? Maybe your friends liked you and you coudn't cope with that, beceause you don't like yourself? But maybe I'm also just projecting my OWN problems on you, after all there's a reason I'm here to right? Only I believe you've had it worse than me.

I believe that everybody has had love whether they knew it or not. And you've had it to. you need to remember that love and think of it.

I hope that you don't think I'm a busybody although I maybe am a little bit. But I like to think that I can understand you and maybe, as weird as it may seem, even help you.

I hope you will find happiness and you absolutely will if you believe in yourself. the world is not ending!

By anonymous at 10,Jan,13 04:16

Don't give up.

By anonymous at 14,Jan,13 23:53

It'll be okay, I know you mean well. Read about buddhist codes for life and relationships. Might help clear your head and start fresh. LOVE from us fellow sufferers

By Ed the prick at 22,Jan,13 23:06

You need to give your self time, take days off work return to the shithole you live in draw the blinds. Have an ample supply of different types of alcohol so you can switch drinks daily. Start drinking, by the third day you will be in the depths of your bender and you will make discoveries about your persona. When you wake up first thing have a drink and carry on. Be sure the phone is off the hook and answering machine up plugged, when you come down you will be sick, if you still have a job to go too get at it, by the third day new meaning and freshness will run your life, it works
By anonymous at 29,Jan,13 02:55

Oddly enough, this kindof helped me ed, but for me it was dmt

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