LIFE SUCKS

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My daughter died on 1-6-2013 from a bad asthma attack. I picked her up from daycare on my moms birthday. We were on our way to my sisters house to pick her up for the party when my daughter said she couldnt breathe. I thought it was just another acute asthma attack so i gave her some puffs of her inhaler. But she kept saying mom i really cant breathe. This had happened before so I rushed to my sisters house (I ran every light on the street). I made it there and my daughter kept saying I cant breathe. We gave her the breathing machine and called 911. She collapsed 5 minutes later and started foaming at the mouth. I had no idea she was dieing. My sister did C.P.R until the ambulance arrived. It took them forever to get there we kept calling and calling. When they arrived they tried to save her but my baby died. I still cant beleive it. It feels like a knife cut my heart open. It hurts. I feel so guilty because I didnt save my baby. I wish everyday I would have driven to the hospital. But the hospital was twenty minutes away. My daughter was only 9 years old. No one can beleive it. I have two other kids and most days I hate waking up. I cry all day it feels like im having a heartache. I wish my baby was still here. I think about taking my own life. I dont know what to do.