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Posted by Ed at September 28, 2010
Tags: Health  Money  2010 September

I am 47 yrs.old and hated my whole life since day one. I have struggled threw high school with every subject, really never had a close friend to talk to. I have had many heartaches in life with relationships and always had dead end jobs that was a waste of time. I was never close to my family, I had many episodes of depression and anxiety and have been on many different types of medicines that only has given me side effects. Been hospitalized when i was in my twenties for depression, and have seen many psychiatrists and therapists without results. I have had many financial hardships in life since i did not know how to control my spending habits. Buying things gave me some sort of satisfaction or meaning. I am currently unemployed have resigned my previous employment due to lower back pain from heavy lifting on the job. My father who is 84 yrs.old has been helping me out financialy and i could never repay him back even if i had a good paying job. I am very tired of hearing christian people telling me to ask and pray to god for help. I have been threw a lot of physical pain from knee injuries from wrestling in high school. In 1978 i injured my left knee which required surgery. In 2004 I had two left knee operations with a left total knee replacement. In 2004, i had a car accident with a severe scalp avulsion in which required plastic reconstruction surgery. If i could only turn back the hands of time or given another chance in life, i would not waste my time thinking that, only if i could have done this to make my life worth living.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 01,Oct,10 16:41

You need to get closer to your family. You need to be more positive. It's like you hate everything you have and wish you had everything you don't have. your tired of Christians helping you but you never gave God a chance. Changing your life starts out first with changing your thinking. If you believe you can be happy, you can, if you believe you can accomplish, I can. I used to hate my job and wished I get a better job, so then I lost it. People don't what to be near others who are negative and complainers, people wont like you if you have a bad attitude against them. People want to be near happy people who smile and see things in a positive light. Now it's hard to find a jon and I wish I still had it. be grateful for what you have.

By anonymous at 01,Oct,10 19:40

life feels like that... but my dear we are all connected .. all good all bad... don't despair.. we are all as good or as bad as you. Please smile. And make the most of what is your life. Enjoy your life. Love your father. Buy him a cake. Love you. God bless my dearest. take care. You are the best.

By anonymous at 02,Oct,10 20:18

Focus on the good things. A father that loves you and everything else in your life. Personally, I enjoy the warm sun, the sounds of nature, and rain. The things you can only appreciate while you are alive. Spend time with your father while you still can. Remember and list the things in your life that bring you joy. Even an old pair of shoes can brighten your day. I can remember the things that made me happy once... and if you can too... maybe there's still hope...

By anonymous at 25,Jul,11 03:20

I know how you feel. I am 47 myself and going through the same feelings you are having. Lets get ourselves off this planet?

By Lambok at 27,Nov,12 23:49

Posted on Thanks guys. For some reason I just got the e-mail on these cnmemots so Sawyer, I hope you did play it for your wife on V-Day and I hope it accomplished whatever your goals were at the time.

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