I am 47 yrs.old and hated my whole life since day one. I have struggled threw high school with every subject, really never had a close friend to talk to. I have had many heartaches in life with relationships and always had dead end jobs that was a waste of time. I was never close to my family, I had many episodes of depression and anxiety and have been on many different types of medicines that only has given me side effects. Been hospitalized when i was in my twenties for depression, and have seen many psychiatrists and therapists without results. I have had many financial hardships in life since i did not know how to control my spending habits. Buying things gave me some sort of satisfaction or meaning. I am currently unemployed have resigned my previous employment due to lower back pain from heavy lifting on the job. My father who is 84 yrs.old has been helping me out financialy and i could never repay him back even if i had a good paying job. I am very tired of hearing christian people telling me to ask and pray to god for help. I have been threw a lot of physical pain from knee injuries from wrestling in high school. In 1978 i injured my left knee which required surgery. In 2004 I had two left knee operations with a left total knee replacement. In 2004, i had a car accident with a severe scalp avulsion in which required plastic reconstruction surgery. If i could only turn back the hands of time or given another chance in life, i would not waste my time thinking that, only if i could have done this to make my life worth living.