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So tired....

Posted by anonymous at November 12, 2010
Tags: Attitude  2010 November

I am in my mid-career, but the effects of my fucked up mother's curse on my life - the abuse haunt me day in and day out. I also had to contend with daily bullying from 6-12th grade. How or WHY I survived, I don't know. I am so tired. So worn down. I'm in recovery, but really just a dry drunk. My mind, heart and soul are so fucked up, I don't know which direction to turn next. My sponsor says to focus on the spiritual. That's tough because I really felt abandoned for many years, including by GOD. Many days, I just wish he would take me on home. I used to be afraid to die, but am no longer. Because I yearn for it. I'm just floating through this miserable life. I wish it could start over, but that's just a fucking fantasy-world.


Similar Entries:
Pull the goddamn trigger already March 16, 2012
I'm tired of my life April 18, 2012
tired of living April 21, 2012
broken heart..... April 18, 2011
im tired of this life shit June 15, 2011

New Comment

By anonymous at 25,Nov,10 11:47

God will take you when he decides to.For now try to make the best of your life,help people,be kind and friendly,go to church,speak with fellow christians,and grow in faith.
By anonymous at 25,Nov,10 19:29

Worst advice ever. Don't conform to some BS religion. That's for weak people. Religion is false hope.

By anonymous at 03,Dec,10 00:55

Firstly, quit AA and start drinking again. Just in moderation with the occasional bender. Your 'sponsor' is simply a slogan chanting zombie with the intelligence of a piece of furniture.

By anonymous at 05,Dec,10 04:51

Alcohol, drugs, are just a tool.
Believe me, you are better of with or without them.
Confused? I guess you should be, I'll explain.
Drugs and alcohol do not cause a problem, they either help or hurt the problem. What I believe would be the best answer, would be, find someone, a person, a friend,(true friend)that really feels your pain.
(This in no way is an answer, but a possible remedy.)
The truth is life sucks, but for some in this coutry, life really sucks. There is not a day that goes by with my thought of dying. But, I am sorry, not here for me...
If you don't have that friend, I am here, because I too know pain.

By Discount OEM Software at 07,Mar,12 13:00

22X0pK Im obliged for the blog.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.

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