Hi,
I read most of the stories here so I felt I can share mine and perhaps get some advice. I am 26, single, quite educated with a teaching job and aspiring to study further. Being from a Moslem third world country make independence impossible(culturally and economically)for a woman but I have tried to do the best I could do. I argued and fought with my father, who is EXTREMELY abusive. He has been beating my mother and both his daughters for the past many many years. As a child and as an adult I have seen domestic abuse to an extent that I have internalized it as a part of domestic life. My father is insanely controlling and my mother who was 14 years his junior never stood up against him. He tried to stop me from going to college and finding a job, but I argued and fought and was able to complete my Masters and get a job in the same college. This opportunity gave me a lot of independence if not a lot of money. Then he started forcing me to get married to some one I did not approve of. I was mercilessly beaten, but I didnt give up and threatened to commit suicide if he didnt stop. Thankfully, my mother intervened. Some time after this incident, I met a very supportive sweet guy from a very poor family who belongs to a different sect and fell in love with him. His hardwork got him a scholarship for Phd in an American university, and he had to leave. I was very very depressed... athough he contacts me often and keeps telling me that he will not give up on me, I feel very insecure. I am trying to get enrolled in the same university but in a household where everything from letters to phonecalls are monitored, I feel the impossibility of making it work... On the other hand, we are both unwilling to give up on each other... I feel terribly sad, sometimes and wish to escape somehow... but e answer is how? I dont wish to elope,though my boyfriend suggested it ( or perhaps I am too afraid to elope).At the same time my father is constantly pressurizing me to marry... I feel very tired and alone. what should i do? | |
1-800-662-ISLAM
A lot of "men" need to realise that women are human beings and should not only protect them but adore them for what they are : LIFE GIVING AND NURTURING!
I'd just like to clarify one misconception here. The problem has less to do with Islam, and more to do with a patriarchal male dominated third world society.The interesting thing is despite not being a staunchly religious Moslem, i am very proud of who I am and what I believe in. The issue is not Islam, the issue is twisting a reasonably spiritual and logical set of values to suit one's own wishes.Religious philosophies are purely subjective; and trust me when we (women) read the Quran, we interpret the surah about 70 virgins in jannat (heaven) as a reward for piety in purely feminist terms.(The men emphasize its just meant for them wink*) haha. So people, relax. Jdc rightly said ignorant people are everywhere in the world. What one should possess is humility and tolerance; a very understated aspect of Islam so far. Yes, the best thing so far has been falling in love with a fiercely independent wonderful guy, who is currently half way across the world (smiles sadly *)
Currently, I am trying to somehow sustain a long distance relationship,studying, hoping and praying that life will take a turn for the better.There is so much that needs to be changed in this world. Life sucks, sometimes. Doesnt it?
and live happily ever after
The arrivals
1-800-662-ISLAM
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