I just fucking hate being alive... Seriously, you can't find a single thing that is right or happy in my life. My parents appear to think that I'm a bit strange, but alright... Well, I am not. Why? Because I am 21 years old, but I still live with parents. I don't have a car, money, house/apartment or even a chance to get those things. Today I had to realize that I'm not going to be accepted to university either, despite the fact that I am usually marked as "smart" and "intelligent" by other people. My parents gave me an ultimatum to find a job in less than two weeks, otherwise I'm no longer welcome in their house... That's gonna be an easy task with the unemployment rate of 15%, isn't it?
I believe that my life would be better if it didn't lack love and intimacy. But, of course, I am not handsome, not at all... Girls seem to dodge me. I have never kissed anyone. And, as I'm getting older, my expectations also seem to increase... so basically there is no chance for me to ever find a girl.
I have read a lot about religions, thinking that they might change my life, or at least make it more livable. This might also be a problem with my personality, but I cannot truly believe in something I never experienced. I am not an atheist, but I can't be a believer.
I wish my life would end... but it doesn't. The only reason that prevents me from committing suicide is my love towards my family members. I don't want to cause pain to them with my death.
I am aware that no one ever reads these stories, but it felt good to write this stuff down. Excuse me for my poor English, it's not my native language. | |
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Im sure you've heard this a million times but the only way to love someone else is to love yourself. You shouldn't seek out a girlfriend, just do the things you love and interact with people, you may find someone in the process of completing your endeavors. Life isn't about having lovers or more specifically a girlfriend. When you feel like you need someone to be happy when you finally get someone you won't achieve happiness and will eventually break up or have a rocky relationship. But when you love yourself it attracts women. I'm nit saying that you'll find someone tomorrow or next year but you will find someone eventually Who you can relate to' and have a meaningful relationship, " the best things are worth waiting for" another cliche I know. Another thing i'd like to add is that religion is a spiritual medium. Therefore you don't necessarily need religion but you should be in touch with yourself spiritually. After all what is the use of knowing a bible through and through if you do not know yourself through and through. But by no means am I trying to discredit religion, in fact religion is a perfect way to get in touch with yourself, as is meditation. As for the job thing, I really wish I was a billionaire who could hire people on the spot, but keep a positive outlook for life I'd much more than what it seems
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some people are not worth knowing though you will eventually find a soul mate just to let you know there are alot of lonely people out there looking for a freind in you too
And it is a hard economy, but everyone is dealing with it. Pick yourself up, give yourself a slap on the ass, quit whining and go get a job. No one is going to hire someone who is so negative.
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