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Waiting for 2012

Posted by Jamie at February 7, 2011
Tags: 2011 February  Relationship

I'll be turning 20 tomorrow. I spent this afternoon crying over my life. I was a really bright student in school. So before graduating high school I moved to a bigger city to study and live on my own. My parents supported me financially. I was only 15 when I was living all alone in a totally different city. I was really excited at first but after a few months I started feeling really depressed. I broke up with my then boyfriend and started distancing myself from my parents. I was always used to being the best in school. I was also my school's star athlete. But in my new school everyone else was just as talented as I was, if not more. Plus they labelled me as the small town girl. I didn't really make any friends there and kept to myself. I missed my old friends like anything. I was so alone and depressed that I started dating this total loser. I started smoking and drinking with him. He also hit me a few times. Every time I tried to breakup with him, he'd start crying and threaten me that he would commit suicide. I was so trapped. Obviously all this affected my grades but somehow I still made it to college. Although I never broke up with that loser "officially" i made sure there was no way he could contact me. I had an accident just before starting college that broke and dislocated some of my teeth. It was so bad that I had to get braces. So here I am, 20 years old, with braces,no boyfriend and two failed relationships in my pas. I am doing fine in college, not great, but fine. I don't have a lot of friends, just people I hang out with and don't care about. My mother still sort of likes controlling me. I had planned to go to a concert with my friends. It was really far from my place. When I told my mum about it she said I couldn't go and to make sure I didn't she froze my bank account so I didn't have enough money to buy the tickets. Also, I am in love with a 29 year old guy who won't love me back. Also, I don't think I'll be getting any gifts on my birthday.


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