LIFE SUCKS

i don't get it :S

ok well i dunno how to start this so yeah.
i grew up physically and mentally and sexually abused by my dad untill i was 13 when my mum finally kicked him out of our house.
i was bullied since then.
i am now 15 turning 16 this year, we live in poverty, we trick the electritian guy into not cutting our power off even tho we never pay the bills cos we can't afford them.
we are struggling to pay rent and i think we might be on the streets soon.
i live at home with my 13 year old sister and my mum.
she neglects me and my sister and litterly never talks to us.
i quit school at 14.
i have asthma which is quite bad cos my mum smokes cigerettes in the house, which has made me go to hospital alot cos i have asthma attacks.
i have anger problems, deppression, and severe anxiety. and i think i might have adhd.
my mum smokes marijuana in the house as well.
she neglects me and my sister and i've contemplated suicide too many times to count. i've also tried killing myself by smashing my head against the wall..it didn't work.
i did it infront of my mum and she didn't even care.
i still don't go to school even tho its illegal not to.
mum never buys us food, we've been living off food stamps our hole lifes, we get new clothes twice a year at the most.
when we do, its from the op shops.
our house is unclean and unhealthy and we get sick alot, my mum doesn't do anything about it.
what really hurts me is that she DOES work, but she spends all her money on drugs.
all i normally eat is bread.
i think she is selfish and i dont know how much longer i can live like this, and why God hasn't helped my life get better yet.
theres alot more about my life i could right about but its too deppressing.
thanks for reading. x