My life is complicity worthless...I just turd 16 6days ago and i don't even feel my age. my family act as if I'm not even a live and if i charge to act happy its a lie. when i was small my brother touched me with my second older sister in the same bed sleeping. i didn't even know that was a bad thing what my brother did to me. Until i got older I knew in that moment what he done to me was wrong so I began to get the memories out of my head. I still think about it and when i see my brother i look at him difficultly. Asking myself why did you do this to me? I'll never be the same...never see you the same. Well to make it much more difficult my parents got into really bad fight all the time. until one day it went to far my dad was going to hit my mom.MY mom ran to room locked her self in called the police as my dad began to broke the door open. the cops take him to jail. I was really small like 7 or 8 years old. My dad out out the next day. That day i knew my life would change forever. All the things i went throw i got myself into a depression that no one knew about.You could say i eat my feelings a way. I felt like dieing not wanting to live anymore.The song "Asleep By the the smiths" felt like it was meant for me.I got bigger everyday fatter and fatter.My family began to call me fat ugly, not so pretty."If your were much more skinny you would look MUCH more pretty"and"If you want a boyfriend you should start working out your to fat. no boyfriend wants a fat girlfriend"My own mom said that to me! who would say that to 14 year old???Things your own mother shouldn't say to there 14 year old...Every moment of the day every now i thinking of dieing running away never looking back.I know I'm just a worthless, hopeless, helpless, and unhappy human being that doesn't belong anywhere...no cars a shit about me don't even know if I'm alive...I feel if i drop out of school my own mother will kick me out of the house and never want to see me again. I don't belong anywhere. | |
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