So can men smell a needy desperate woman a mile away? That must be why at age 30 I am going to court in 4 days for assault againest me by my ex. This is someone who promised me he would never do what was done to me by my last two relationships.
And it's really pathetic that the only human interaction I have is few one or two male aquaintences who never call me but I call them and I know they aren't impressed with me. But what can you do?
I think about suicide alot.
I tried to join a meetup group but no friends from that either. Just some man who wanted to meetup and "chat". Why am I such an object, and nothing to them?
I can't stand this being alone anymore. I hide. And I run. Is this what life is about? Everytime I try to take a risk socially I get hurt soo badly. Everytime.
The world is so cruel and thoughtless and self involved. And I just want to fix and love everyone. But here I am alone desperate needy and fragile. I can't change. But I am so sick of everyone, mom, male aquaintences, calling me fragile. I guess I am.
I give up. I give in to the sadness. No more trying to smile and stay positive. I give up.
And in my other entry I talked about my schizo affective bipolar mom and what she did to my sister.
Does she care or worried or upset about what is happening with this court date? Did she get upset the past few years when I told her that my boyfriend was aggressive with me? Did she love me? Why in the hec am I worth anything? My mom doesn't think I am so I must not be. She is a cold unfeeling human being.
My male aquaintence friend/notfriend enemy?? told me I am just addicted to self pity. I think I must be. | |
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Here's the thing... I'm 31 & single. I get lonely and want to be in a relationship but not at the price of my standards and dignity. So I'm single and when the RIGHT man comes along who is WORTHY of me then I'll date him. Everyone else I'm sorry but I have to decline. I turn away so many men and sometimes I think "maybe I should just settle so I can be with someone" but then I'd end up in your situation, going to court with a loser. I'm sure you knew he was a loser and just stayed with him hoping it would get better. You said you try to "fix" everyone; you can't fix anyone but yourself. Try learning to be happy & single.
My last relationship ended more than 8 yrs ago. My last date was 5 yrs ago. Women jump in bed right away, I'm guessing to assert some sort of control over me (good luck with that, btw) or the budding relationship.
WOMEN SUCK AND USE SEX TO MANIPULATE, PERIOD!
Worthy usually means rich to your kind, I presume.
But that's not saying a whole lot. Unfortunately the reason people treat you so bad is that they think that by doing so they can keep you (or anyone else) from seeing their own weakness.
Please do not believe people when they say that men treat you that way because of something you are doing wrong (being desperate,etc). The way anyone acts toward you is their own responsibility, not yours. The most perfect person in this world will come across people in their life who want to hate on them and treat them badly, and that's what they will do. The reason people act that way toward you is because that's pretty much the way most people act toward everybody. There are good people in the world, and there is even good in people who act like assholes, but it might be best for you to understand that you can't go around expecting people to treat you well, and thinking there is something wrong with you if they don't.
Good luck honey n hang in there:)
You'll find someone that truly loves you. It just takes time!
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