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Do you think my mum would be happy if I killed myself?

Posted by anon at January 26, 2010
Tags: Health  January 2010  Juvenile problems

I'm 15 and I have 4 siblings. My mum loves them pretty much. She hates me.
I have a job, and none of my siblings do. She gives them $40 a week spending money and gives me none because I have a job (the ones who are old enough to work are 17, and a step brother who is 16). When I didn't have a job though, she would go mental 24/7 that I don't have a job. She could care less about the fact that none of my older brothers do. They spend their money on weed (she doesn't know though. She'd kill them if she found out), and she pays for their school supplies, clothes, etc. I spend the money I earn from my job on school related things and I barely have any money left to spend on anything else.

I've wanted braces since I was 13. She recently paid for my 12 year old sister to have braces, but thought it was a waste to pay for me too. I started saving up for braces and managed $2240 so far (the braces are $7720). She forced me to lend her $600 for a new car tire because she didn't have any cash on her, and $370 so she could buy my 17 year old brother a $1200 bass (and when I tried to buy my own $800 bass she wouldn't let me cause she thought it was a waste of money). If I didn't lend the money she probably would have grounded me for life. She now refuses to owe me my $970 back simply because she doesn't want to. She said I should just not get braces, and if I decide to get them anyway she's not helping me pay for them. Did I mention she's currently helping my brother by a new car?

Speaking of cars, my grandad recently bought a new car so he gave me his old one (which is still in pretty good condition. He may be old, but he likes nice cars). My mum said that because I don't have a full license yet, it's my step-brother's until I get my full (1-2 years away). I told her I have my restricted license though, and I'm allowed to drive on my own, but she just ignores me. I'll probably try to get my Grandad to convince her but that'll probably get her pissed off.

I haven't slept well in days because I lie in bed coughing for hours before I eventually get to sleep (I went to bed at 11pm last night, and didn't manage to sleep until 5am). I've been having non-stop coughing fits for 5 weeks now. My mum refuses to go to take me to the doctor because it might be nothing so she can't be bothered. I even said I would pay for the doctors appointment but she just can't be bothered. When my brother had Chronic Cough (I think that's what it was) she took him within the first 2 weeks.

A few months ago I went to the doctor, and he said there is a chance I have something called PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome and that I would need to get an ultra sound on my pelvis. I knew my mum wouldn't pay for it, so I said I would but she doesn't want to take me. So I asked my aunty if she could take me, and my mum got angry and said it was just a waste. That was 3-4 months ago. I don't know much about PCOS but apparently if it's left untreated for a long time it can make you infertile, and a whole bunch of other things? I want to check it out but I'm not allowed. At 15 could I go do it myself? Hopefully she'll let me use my car to go do it.

Those are just a few things but it would take too long to list everything. Do you think my mum would even care if I killed myself? I wouldn't kill myself though. I always cry when I think about killing myself, because I don't want to die. Like... I want to kill myself because my life sucks so much but I just don't want to die. I'm only 15 and there are so many things I haven't done :/. There are soooooooo much things I've been so excited to do when I'm older all my life, and I don't want to not be able to do them just because of my mum.
I'm considering moving in with my dad. I never really got along with my Dad but he seems to be more caring than my mum. And everytime my siblings and I go visit him now, I seem to get along with him quite well now. Better than before.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 31,Jan,10 14:49

Well welcome to life, now you know how life will be when you get married.
It all about the wife, and not you.
But to get on topic, save money and live on your own. You are young, working, and talented. Very rare skills in the young these days. So spread them wings and fly little bird.
Leave the nest completely.
By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 10:38

This writer is a female.
By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 07:01

ok lool
By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 07:02

dont kill your self.
By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 09:09 Fold Up

Why do you say its a female ?
By anonymous at 30,Nov,12 11:22

Keyword: Ovary. Dont think men have those
By anonymous at 05,Jul,12 17:01 Fold Up

No, Its a shemale.

By anonymous at 06,Apr,10 19:40

the next time she ask for money tell her to swival

next time she dont take u to the doctors ask her how she sleeps at night

if worse comes t worse pal put a couple of sleeping pill in her tea then shave her hair off or sumin
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 04:49

By anonymous at 30,Nov,12 11:22

But funny
By anonymous at 11,Apr,13 20:57 Fold Up

thats right her mom is an assssssssss
By anonymous at 11,Apr,13 20:58

i hope your life turns out good good luck

By anonymous at 20,Jun,10 09:00

I think a change of scenery would be good. see how it goes. I doubt it could be any worse.
By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 07:01

By anonymous at 14,Jun,12 07:01

i love emma so much
By anonymous at 08,Sep,12 17:31

By anonymous at 08,Sep,12 17:32


By anonymous at 23,Jun,10 02:42

A couple other things:

For SOME people, religion helps. It's important that you do what works for YOU. If you're not very religious (or if you're Jewish, like me), Jesus isn't going to help you much. And if you just aren't the Bible type, the WORST thing for someone to do to you is ask you to conform to THEIR beliefs. That is why so many LGBTQ people become depressed or suicidal when they're sent to "ex-gay" camps, or ostracized by society.

Also, simply praying and reading a book isn't going to change the way your mother treats you.

Besides, that commentor was probably just trying to advertise his church to you. Some people are sick enough to exploit religion. Some parts of our world are a bit sad.

Another poster said to simply leave anyone who makes you miserable. Only about 30% of that is true. Yes, if you are in an abusive relationship, or if you're old and stable enough to be on your own, you can avoid certain negative influences. But there are some things in life you will just have to deal with. For example, a mean boss, rude neighbors, customer service representatives, etc. These are battles that you don't need to fight.

And it is obviously NOT a good idea to do any harm to your mother. Even sleeping pills have been known to kill people when accidentally given in too big of a dose. And, of course, prison is not a good place to be. Not only would you have to worry about catching disease, getting beaten up, and being stabbed to death, but there would be no boys for you, and you would be treated far worse by the prison guards than you are by your mother.

Even if you miraculously were not sentenced to prison, you would be an outcast to society, and no one would dare talk to you.

The advice I gave you in the last post (right above this one) is both reasonable and based on experience. Plus, it actually makes sense and will give you the appearance of an angel.
By anonymous at 20,Oct,11 05:24

listen to this man. and dude good luck i hope things get settled between u and your mom. and plz dont resort to suicide or crime or drugs. I never met u before but u sound like a good hard working guy. and always remember life could be worse
By Nathan at 20,Oct,11 05:27

and my name isnt anonymous its Nathan
By anonymous at 14,Aug,12 12:45 Fold Up

jesus helps everyone you just have to make an effort on your part HE HELPS EVERYBODY

By anonymous at 31,Mar,11 18:10

kill your "mother"!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG SO ANNOYING WOMEN I WOULD JUST KILL HER !!!with a backstab hahahahahahahaahahaha i am crazy
By anonymous at 05,Jun,12 03:09

i'm crazier. i once unzziped my pants in front of a lot of people during a fight

By anonymous at 25,May,12 02:07

I hate my fucking my life too,my mom is the reason why my life is shit,she is nothing but a reclusive,stupid slut,she has cheated on my dad with alot of men and did some terrible things that i'll never forgive her for,i'm only 18 i have no job and no money,that is the reason why i havent moved out yet,everyday i feel like taking a gun to my head and ending this agonizing life,fuck life.

By anonymous at 05,Jun,12 03:08

move in with your dad. if your moms treating you like a fucked-up peice of shit then move out

By anonymous at 06,Jul,12 00:06

Try staying with your grandparents. Seems like they want to help you.. Also make s phone call to paw paw an let him know that your mom took your car and gave it to your step brother I bet he will take it back..suicide is not the answer you would bd greatly missed if you ended your mom is somewhat like yours nothing I do is good enough. I never get a positive reaction from her. But the way she treats me is just fuel to my fire..when I say fire I mean my will to make my life better to where I'm not looked down on by society just by here..something happened in their lives that involved us but nothing in life regardless of how bad is worth looking down or mistreating your children.. Keep your head and take care of your illness find a teacher or a close friend or even call the dr office and let them know that your mom won't get you the medical attention that you need. And watch what happens.. Take care of yourself be strong and get those negative thoughts out of your head it will get better soon..Lucy

By anonymous at 14,Aug,12 12:43

She needs to treat you better blackmail her better yet just steal the money back and maybe an extra 10
By anonymous at 30,Nov,12 11:31

Then she will go to prison... nice advice

By anonymous at 02,Sep,12 06:34

i am sad my mum and dad brokeup and now i dont know who to live with i want to live with my mum so muchhhh HELP PLZ GOD PLZZ HELP!!!!!!

By anonymous at 15,Nov,12 02:21

my mom said i will never ever repay my debt to them. she told me to just kill myself to repay them. when ever i think of killing myself, i cry too. killing my mom already went in my mind but i couldn't do it for some reason. Only one thing keeps on going in my mind. to tell my mom one day that i will repay my debt to them.

By anonymous at 21,Feb,13 14:29

Everyone!! Stop being victims with a victim mentality. It is bad to be a victim of others, but nothing is worse than being a victim of yourself!!

By Chloe;B at 22,Feb,13 16:55

Stand up for yourself, tell her that she's treating you wrong and go and live with your dad. It's always the middle child who ends up like this;me for example. Try and get a bettr job that pays you more and so you can be healthy again. Anything's possible, just stick up for yourself!! It's worked for me....kinda....getting there but, you need to be with someone who will care for you and who loves you more than anything! Stay with your dad and forget mum. X :)

By anonymous at 22,Mar,13 07:58

Well you are not alone in this...I too face a very similar problem, and to top it off I am 22. You alteast have a bright side that your dad aint like your mom, but both my dad and mom are just a pain. Life sucks. I know. I moved out. I had to face a whole new level of freaks and fraudsters apart from my mom since i left home, but darn, since the day i left home, I have not been humiliated, emotionally tortured, and slept peacefully at night. I got a new job, the pay is gradually increasing, my studies are going well, what else does a human need. Ya know i was kinda hoping that if we could start a group which is tailor made to help such people. But a single thought aint big enough to change the world..

By IAmHere at 12,May,13 07:36

Hey Gurl,your mum is a complete arse. You have a job and your 15? That is pretty tough and only strong people inside out would be able to suceed at this. I HATE my mum as well, she just doesn't understand how hard it is to go to school and be treated like a punching bag.I'm 14 and I realized that I have a lot of things to look forward to. Things may seem hard now but sooner or later you'll find your happiness~ I wish you luck and stay strong girll :)

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