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I'm running out of Hope!

Posted by Sad in Buffalo at June 27, 2011
Tags: 2011 June  Loneliness  Meaninglessness  Relationship

I'm 53, divorced now for 5 years after being married to the woman I loved for 27 years. I am having trouble dating now because of trust issues and finding a good woman because I have gained weight and often get rejected. I find I have to settle for women that aren't right for me just so I can go out on a date. I am also dealing with insulin dependent diabetes. I come home from work so tired but yet can't sleep at night.

As a kid I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents, boys in school tried to beat me up everyday so I had to run home and hope they wouldn't catch me.

I don't have many friends, I live alone, I feel isolated, I feel unwanted. This has led to feelings of depression and sadness.

Now that my kids are married, they have their own lives. My daughter is too busy for her father.

I have always been a good man and have tried to help others when I could. My ex has remarried and her life has moved on and she is happy. I still miss her. I know I should be angry that she cheated on me. I just want her to be happy. I only wish her the best. She left me because my diabetes has caused me to be impotent and unable to get an erection or have sex.

I have no joy in my life, no purpose, no direction. I still live in the same house that my ex and I shared when we were married. I know I should sell the house and move. The divorce has also caused financial problems and I am nearing backruptcy because of my debt. I also know that if I sell my house I'll never be able to buy another house because of my poor credit history.

Mostly I'm sad because I'm alone, without my life partner and best friend.

I am nearing the end of my hope...I'm growing tired and don't know how much fight to survive I have left. I need some love and hope in my life or I will be unable to go on much longer.

I hang on because of my kids. They are the best part of my life.

I know people have it much worse than me...I was just wishing life would be a little happier for me as I get older.

Maybe someone will read this and understand my pain and perhaps will offer me some hope.


New Comment

By anonymous at 29,Jul,11 07:59

Hang in there buddy. It is completely normal to feel the way you do after such a long relationship.

I believe you that you are going about your life the wrong way by trying to fill a hole left by your wife by replacing it with other women. Having a partner should not be your only goal in life.

Set yourself some new goals in the distance future to strive to. I would suggest selling your house, moving to a smaller apartment and renting. Then use the rest of the money to perhaps get into a routine of going to the gym. You'll start to feel a lot better about yourself as you get healthier. Then when the time is right you can travel somewhere in great shape and have confidence in talking to women again!

Do not live in the past, no matter how hard it is my friend. Keep pushing yourself forward to bigger and better things.
By at 16,Aug,11 17:44

You seem like an amazing man that played his role very well. You're just done w/ THAT book. I agree w/ what was said above. I lost my Dad 9 months ago. He was also a diabetic and w/ age became more over weight. He accomplished what he wanted in life plus some. He found a neighbor friend that he would go walking w/. He donated his time to the Special Olympics. He mentored a kid at the juvenile facility. There was an older gentleman he ate lunch w/ every Sat. Trial w/ no error b/c your giving something TOTALLY NEW a chance to feed your soul. The little man has gone on vacation anyway so let the heart feel good. The statement you made about your daughter reminded me of myself. Please open up to her and tell her how you feel. Ask her to do lunch at least once a month. Life is short. You lived yours well. Be proud of that and accept the wisdom of an older man worth respecting. We're human. Let go of her. It's time to become your own best friend. Let your good light shine.

By anonymous at 30,Jul,11 15:11

Keep your chin up. I know what it's like to feel isolated and alone, but there are people out there that care about you. Your ex sounds a little selfish to be honest, but that's just my opinion. Just look forward and do everything you can to distract yourself from that lonely feeling. Take a walk. Watch a movie. Make new friends or hang out with old ones. Be proud of yourself that you were in a relationship for that long and have wonderful kids because of it. A lot of people go through life completely alone without ever knowing what love is. Look back on it as a positive experience and move forward. I wish you the best of luck.

By anonymous at 31,Jul,11 01:59

Well i just want to say ,you never say where you are spiritually, first true happiness starts with knowing who you are developing a relationship with God and finding out what your true mission here on earth is,its not in a relationship that keeps us happy although it helps. We have to find a relationship with God first. Don't give up use this time to develop and see you fix yourself up dust yourself off it's better days to come in your life.Believe it start going out Loving you and that alone will draw people to you people are drawn to people who feel good about their self, spend quite time with God watch how your life will change and all for the better.God bless you my friend.I believe in you know believe in yourself.

By anonymous at 01,Aug,11 09:50

I agree with the poster who stated you should not focus on living in the past or trying to find someone to fill the void in your life. You may have to just accept your single status and embrace it.

Involve yourself in activities and things that make you happy. Get in shape and lose weight for yourself. Then once you feel better about yourself and have more confidence and a good life as a single person, women will be more attracted to you. Have you tried viagra or treatments for ED, because sex is an important aspect of romantic relationships so you may want to work on that. Otherwise, get really, really great at giving oral sex. People have needs and women you meet who are in their 50's or younger probably will still be very interested in sexual release.

The final piece is getting your financial house in order as best you can. Bottom line is once you become a balanced, well rounded guy and have your life in good shape, others will be attracted to you. But you need to work on yourself before you pursue women. There is hope. In any case, best of luck to you.

By anonymous at 03,Aug,11 06:29

I can't offer hope!

Women are self-serving egoists. They care only about their own needs, wants and desires. Life is a long, useless struggle. Love is absolutely dead.

Look at the news all over the planet. It's a reflection of our core values. MONEY, SEX, MURDER!

Women are as ruthless, cruel and money hungry as your typical corporate CEO.

At 35, I'm looking forward to a life of loneliness, despair
for another 30-40 years. FUCK!
By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 01:00

You should shut up and go screw yourself... if your life is so hopeless that is probably because you are too lazy to do something about it. You're a horrible person, the man who wrote this post really needs positive comments and doesn't deserve to read your crap. It's not a surprise that you are lonely, since you speak of women in a terrible way. REMEMBER ASSHOLE, YOUR MOTHER WAS A WOMAN!!! To the author of this post, please don't pay attention to this jerk.
By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 01:50

She died!

I enjoyed a great relationship with her. But she's gone now and was told to get over it. Time heals all wounds!
fuck that!

I happen to hear women speaking ill of men all the time. So I indulged myself, I apologize. BAD EXPERIENCES, ya know!

I enjoyed your post thoroughly! THANX!
By anonymous at 06,Aug,11 17:03

So what if your mom died... were you trying to make me feel bad? She was still a woman anyway, and you come from a woman. If you say all women are worthless, then so was your mom. Unlike you, I didn't enjoy your post, because you're not even good at making something for others to enjoy. If you only know shitty women, that is becuase that's all the girls you get and that is your own fault, Stop blaming others for being a loser.
By anonymous at 07,Aug,11 22:41

I never said they were worthless, I said they were ruthless, manipulating, hypocrites. Get reading skills!


What am I writing here, the fuckin' care bears. Women are sociopaths, plain and simple.
By anonymous at 08,Aug,11 07:06


Guys can't vent anymore without being crucified by self-entitled ladies.


Only heartless women are allowed to pick on people's grief to motivate their man-hating characters."So what if your mom died."

It takes one shitty woman to talk about another. Thanx for proving my point.

By anonymous at 03,Aug,11 06:33







By anonymous at 04,Aug,11 14:09

paybacks a bicth isnt it maybee if you had pride in yourself this woundt have happend you sat there got fat and sick you did it now undue it stop wining
By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 01:01

That is why this guy is writing, because he is seeking for help becuase he does want to do something about it! He just needs some advice... idiot!

By anonymous at 05,Aug,11 01:13

Hello! I may be young but as a daughter, I have to tell you that we are not always perfect with our parents and sometimes we don't notice if our parents needs us. However, it's not our intention to ignore our parents sometimes. Why don't you visit them? Do you have grandchildren? If you do, then enjoy spending time with them. It's sad how your relationship ended, and forgive me but your ex was very mean and heartless, leaving you for lack of sex? A relationship is not only about sex, speacially if you're together for so long. As they told you before, women are not the only answer, especially if your seeking for one just because you feel lonely. Take your time to recover, drink some vitamins so you can have more energy, and take advantage of every moment of your life. Sometimes being alone is necesary to get to now ourselves better, so do it. The best for you!
By at 16,Aug,11 17:51

WELL SAID young lady.

By anonymous at 06,Aug,11 17:18

dude, u should come to thailand, come for 2-3 weeks, and go to pattaya see some ladies.

plenty of guys like you coming every year.
and most arevery happy, some even got married.

go to your travel is cheap in asia.
By anonymous at 16,Aug,11 17:52


By Rick at 18,Nov,11 02:07

There comes a time when we recieve the things we love then later at another time we reach that moment when we lose those things we love

By anonymous at 18,Nov,11 02:08

Gain back yourself don't let your fire burn itself out.

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