im 24 yo male from central europe. ive never had a girlfriend, never had sex, neither kissed a girl on her lips. dont want to go to the hooker because i dont feel like doing it. i dont have any pleasure in my life whatsoever. im playing poker professionally, making quite good money from it. you might say that im lucky boy that i can make money, but thats just foolish. im sitting in front of the computer around 15 hours a day and the rest of the day i sleep. i dont feel like leaving home at all. i dont have a pleasure of doing anything at all. my life is like that since around 5 years. I'm a bit socially awkward and i have a cholinergic urticaria, which wastes my life and can't be cured. im kind of shy coz of it, can't get stressed, nor work out, nor going to the heavy sun, because i make my body hurt like motherfucker.
lately i started to drink alcohol more often. this lets me to not think about my retarded life and gives me the opportunity to lose time without feeling it. i hate my life and my dream is to become 40 years old and start having fun with whores. right now im not doing it becuase i still believe that magically i will find a girl somehow somewhere which obviously is not gonna happen ever. i feel that i will live like that for the rest of my retarded life.
im unpleasant to every person that i know. i hate my family, which raised and followed me to the point that im here right now. i would like everybody around me to disappear and let me live alone. i dont have any friends. my "friends" dont like me, because i show that i dont like them, which is not what i want to show, but thats just me. i have a lot of people on facebook which i dont like and they probably dont like me as well, but what can i do? thats just how i am. unsocial loner and hater. one of my dreams was to kill both parents and get away with it somehow. but then id have to kill myself because i dont feel like going to prison. i would actually be happy with killing myself, but i dont have balls to do it and i always feel that maybe somehow someday something will change, which is not gonna happen anyway. i wrote a very similar thing 2 years ago and nothing changed at all. i still have the same problems and still cant beat them.
i hope that alcohol that im drinking lately everyday will help me die faster, because i dont feel like doing anything with my life. i dont feel like anything in my life is going to change, buecase oi dont even have a motivation to change anything. i hate this life.. my god why do i live? this is completely nonsense.. im talking to some nerds on the internt about my problems, because i have nobody. my parents are idiots and i cant stand them.
my life is completely clueless and worthless, i have no point in living at all. what im doing is just fulfilling my needs and waiting for death. i hope it will come fast, because i dont have balls to drastically speed it up | |
Don't kill yourself and don't kill anybody else. Pull up a blank document and write "MY DREAMS" at the top. Then start typing without stopping to think. Write everything you want to do in life, if you had no limits and no one ever said no. Just keep typing until you type the things that make you cry (or at least feel very deeply). Write the things you want ("to feel better about my dad," "to sing for the pope," "to piss off of a spaceship." Whatever. But trust me. It works, if you take it seriously.
In life, it helps to want something, and it helps to know what you want. Then write down three things you can do tomorrow to make some of them happen. Do this everyday. And voila.
I feel so lonely...
I've never had a girlfriend, neither kissed a girl too.
I thought things were going to change at college.
but nothing happened and my life continues to suck...
but I still think we are going to find that special chick someday...
You've got to believe, man!
I know... I know... I sound like an insane person...
but there are billions of girls around the world...
Some girl got to be the one for you...
You've got 2 believe!
if u would like to talk more about this, i'm there for u anytime.
Dude who wrote this story. I wish I could help you. I wish I could help all of you. Practically, not praying for you, but i wish I could meet every person. I don't want lives wasted. It's bad enough with just my own but you other poor people need help,
I have no advice for you because I myself haven't been able to find any solution to the way I've felt for years. I tried to commit suicide in the past. I daydream about finally taking myself on a regular basis, but like you said I know I won't have the guts to do it..
I hope you find some answers..
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