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Hard Life

Posted by anonymous at July 20, 2011
Tags: Addictions  Drugs  2011 July  Money

when i was 18 i started shooting heroin. at 19 i slowed my addiction to painkillers, and met a girl 27 who i fell in love with and moved in together with. i worked sporadically and in 05 katrina destroyed our hometown and everything we ever knew. we lived out in the sticks 4 a while and eventually found our way back home, shortly thereafter breaking up. it ripped a hole in my heart & i started shooting dope again. then i wound up in jail a few years, got out and got back with her, because i love her. a few years went by with me on suboxone to mantain my addiction, all was well, & in 2010 we had a baby boy who is my everything, my love. 4 months later she went nuts, screamed & argued with me everyday till she moved out (with my kid) i started fucking up & a few days later went back to jail for another 6 months. got out in Dec.2010 with no money, no car, no job, no apartment, no baby, no babys momma, no hope, no help. i lived on the streets of new orleans for a few months, stealing to survive, shooting dope cause i stopped giving a fuck, and 3 months ago got back on a suboxone clinic, got a job, moved in with some friends n got my shit somewhat together. then guess what 2 months ago i get laid off. i spend my days trying to hustle change to afford my meds(habit), My son and his mom were the only family ive ever had, theyre gone now she moved 2 hours away, i have no way to get to her and the bitch refuses to answer the phone. ive applied at every fuckin place in the town i live in and there are no fuckin jobs. im so broke i dont even eat somedays. im 27 now, my son is one and a half, i havent even seen him in 7 months, and it hurts so bad im thinking about killing myself. i have no hope, if God's listening i guess he just doesnt care.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 30,Aug,11 16:21

No god. No good. No bad.

Be brave. Be courageous. Thats all that matters. Its not easy. Its not supposed to be easy. Many have it better, some have it worse. This is life.

I feel for you. Its not about winning, its about the fight for life. Keep fighting. Never stop. Never give up. Only then you truly fail.

I watch you.
By anonymous at 31,Aug,11 00:35

You sound pretty cool

By anonymous at 31,Aug,11 08:48

You are such a loser. You made your life "suck". Truth is your life doesn't suck people like you do. What made you at 18 do heroin? Weed not good enough for you e not good enough for you? You only cared about feeling good. Not expanding your mind, not higher thought, just into the feel good drugs, would cheat and thieve hardworking people for your few hours of feeling good. While the rest of us toil and worry, only to support a thief and drug addict. Then you bring a child into the world. Yet another victim of your selfishness and stupidity.
By anonymous at 01,Sep,11 20:14

fuck you, we all make mistakes and when your really down you do dope as a one time thing and before you know it your addicted. sure people did choose to do the drugs but when your desperate and really feeling down you do the drugs just to ease the pain. you obviously dont understand what its like to be an addict
By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 07:52

Um he was 18 like he had much to be down about! You dont even get your first broken heart or your soul crushed at that point or have to work to support yourself! NO, Im sorry, retard, but it takes a vacant moron to use substances as a crutch, I guess I just have too much of a soul for it to work.

FYI Its usually spoiled rich kids who become herion addicts. If you don't know that, then you're dumb.
By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 08:02

PS. Maybe idiots like you stumble through life shitting over everything and "make[ing] mistakes", but shit-ons like me use life to grow and learn. My mother sent me 300 dollars for my birthdat, she works in a nursing home wiping ass, that was like a weeks pay, and some fucking herion addict stole my mail. So get bent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Get fucking BENT!

You get free needles and free methadone, I don't even get a free cup of FUCKING COFFEE!

I don't have aids, I don't spread aids. I don't even have any kind of herpes. I can't even have a relationship because if you made it to age 30 without getting something you best just stop there, because everyone else is a festering pool of disease. Getting drunk and fuking. Want my advice go fuck a 300 lbs male virgin with a JOB. WITH A JOB! I can see past FAT I cant see past a HUGE ASS like the majority of men are!

Yeah God loves you, he loves for you to quit being an asshole. JEsus!
By anonymous at 11,Sep,11 05:16 Fold Up

Spoiled rich kids becoming herion addicts?

First off, I used to be a drug dealer. Did my time with regrets. Let me tell you. Sure some rich kids do drugs, so does poor kids, or any other kids and adult.

Once you're hooked on drugs, your hooked, and become an addict till either you get clean. Or death.

You think drugs give a damn what social status you have?
By BexRae at 05,Feb,12 04:50

AMEN!!!!! please please read MY reply to that assfuck who said spoiled rich kids are the only ones who end up heroin addicts. YOU know EXACTLY how i feel about this. THANK YOU for what u said man. YOU get how shit is in the real world. props to u. -Bex
By BexRae at 05,Feb,12 04:53 Fold Up

u are such an ignorant assfuck. i hope you know that & if u dont...then YOURE dumb.
By BexRae at 05,Feb,12 04:56 Fold Up

AMEN again. most of you know exactly how addiction is. this ignorant assclown who thinks heroin addiction only hits rich kids=epic. what a class-A retard.
By anonymous at 08,Sep,11 19:46 Fold Up

i completely agree with every word u wrote
By BexRae at 05,Feb,12 04:59 Fold Up

wow. youre obviously a fucking boner who knows absolutely nothing about the ways of the world. shame on you. asshat. now go fuck yourself.

By at 01,Sep,11 00:33

satan tempts you(drugs)then kicks you for falling (addiction) then scoffs and laughs at you when your down. (the last comment) God/Jesus does care more than you'll ever understand. As we may hate the drugs or cancer that kills our love ones- God hates Sin, Alcoholism,Drug addiction, selfishness, greed, Sexual immoralty Hate etc because it destroys his children. The Good news is no matter where you live you can talk to God However you must ask God/Jesus to open the door to your heart so you can let him in. He will guide you. I (my thought) don't think we should treat God like a drive through then walk away and do our own thing once we are out of the mess that we got in by the choices made by others or ourself. Jesus is real if you don't Believe it then ask him to show you and give you the sight to see it. As long as you have internet log on to (I use to go there when I lived in CA) then once you see it wait for a few seconds and you see something like DEMANDTV click that then scroll down there should be a list of services. hit what looks like an swiggly f and you can hear some very encouraging messages. there's also a phone number to call and request prayer or a DVD. Ask Christ to direct you to church that you are comfortable with. May you soeron feel the Blessing and Love that God has for you . Judy I'll only be able to check my email every few days but If you send me a message I'll get back with you asap
By anonymous at 01,Sep,11 12:52

Sorry I'm not satan, Im just speaking the truth, Satan is a drug addict that sells his own mothers engagement ring for money. I have known such. I have been around these people and they do nothing but steal from others, so go fuck yourself! Hard! Go take your suedo Christ-Stain Benny Hilly lying ass somewhere else, if sweettalking people who fuck up, worked, nobody would fuck up. The truth sucks for those who can't deal with reality. I'm not sure if you used the letter I or the word God more in your soliloquy.
I-God-I-God I-God.

By anonymous at 01,Sep,11 13:29

Hey man...there is a God and He does care for you. Keep searching and be strong. I've been to the point where i was ready to off myself as well but that is never the answer. Hang in there. I agree with MH...give your mom and son some time but let them know you care. Peace...
By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 07:54

Yeah give your son some time without being supported by his father to grow up and hate this asshole. Way to treat the woman you supposedly love.

By anonymous at 03,Sep,11 22:39

kill yourself please , you suck at life

By anonymous at 05,Sep,11 12:31

Nothing is permanent. You're a young man and many years and possibilities ahead of you. If you have courage and determination, you can get through these dark days and make a better life for yourself and find the love you are looking for. Maybe, some day, you will find a healthy way to be reconnected with your child that you cherish. For him, you should resolve to become the best person you can be--for him to be proud of--for you to help provide for him, if the opportunity presents itself. Stay clean and find an honest job. You can do it.

By anonymous at 06,Sep,11 06:18

The way i see it is a lot like your story, reality is shit, it sucks, it's corrupt and not fair. I look at happy people and think for myself they are ignorant. I used to be happy or ignorant, well both, to me it's the same thing... I don't know if I'm right or not, but I know I can't tolerate living an ignorant life anymore.

mm what to do :s

By anonymous at 06,Sep,11 15:51

I am so sorry for you, please hang in there, you have actually been doing a good job hanging in there, with all the challenges you've been given. You have to keep trying for your son. Eventually he will come back to you. It's ok to make mistakes, everybody makes them.
By anonymous at 06,Sep,11 15:56

And also, you are young, there's much ahead of you, I'm sorry that you have had to fight for every minute. There have been some wonderful things in your life though. Just proof that you can live good things and they will come to you again.

By anonymous at 18,Sep,11 21:43

Their is a God but you are listen. You keep making the same wrong choices. God did get hook on herion, you did. All the bad things that have happen in your life is becasue of the CHOICES YOU MADE. Until you change, and find God your life is going to be the same. Ask your slef what can you offer your child, your wife. I do not mean money. Find a church learn about God ask him to help you get clean and change. It has to come form your heart, when you trust God in your heart you have peace like you never had before. Many people have been where you are, and because of God they are free and living a blessed life. What do you have to lose?

By anonymous at 08,Nov,11 15:18

First step get off the dope including suboxin .Then can try start ya a new one but ya can't keep on with htat lifestyle if you want more out of life and leave the city maybe it will help !

By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 09:12

And to all of you maggots who harassed me I say FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.

By BakHtiYor at 27,Oct,12 12:09

Everyone thinks I have lots of friends. I'm sure more people care about me than I realize. But God I feel so alone

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By anonymous at 22,Sep,15 21:40

Dude fuck everyone Jesus was perfect to perfect I cant even relate to perfection Never mind Gods only son..Just keep pluggen Do what I did.. I won a few million in the lottery All you have to do is sell your soul to Satan If anyone needs help on selling there soul and doing it the right way

By anonymous at 22,Sep,15 21:40

Dude fuck everyone Jesus was perfect to perfect I cant even relate to perfection Never mind Gods only son..Just keep pluggen Do what I did.. I won a few million in the lottery All you have to do is sell your soul to Satan If anyone needs help on selling there soul and doing it the right way

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