LonelyUnloved&Misunderstood | Posted by EmoThug at July 30, 2011 | Tags: Attitude 2011 July |
I hate my life so much. why was i born for God to just curse my whole life since birth? im a 26 year old ex con, single, unemployed, no friends, horrible childhood, lonely, unloved & misunderstood. all i want out of life is a slice of happiness but it never comes. i was a neglected child growing up from my family which resulted in years of living in group homes doing drugs & getting locked up at the start of age 11 because i wasnt wanted from anyone. inside im a big hearted loving man thats just misunderstood. deep down inside my heart is still that 5 year old kid that just wants to be loved unconditionaly.
im so used to people coming in & out of my life since i was a child that till this day i try so hard to please just for someone to permanently stay in my life & love me. i have so much trust issues with people because nobody is genuine anymore. everyone has an personal agenda/gain & ends up using me. everybody judges me & sees me as just a thug that wont do anything in life. but thats not me anymore. i changed my life away from the street life but society wont give me another chance. i cant find a job let alone keep one. im getting old & so is my mother. she is very sick & wont have much time left on this earth. im preparing myself mentaly for that day but i cant imagine going through that alone.
i have a daughter that iv only met once. my baby mama never loved me & used me for 5 years. now shes in another state somewhere living a new life. i have no clue where shes at. i never pictured my life to be like this. sometimes i rather die because life is such a dark cold harsh world that dosnt give a shit about you. iv been strong for so many years but i can barely hold on anymore. God wont ever give me a break. im always goin through a situation or another mountain to climb over just to see another hill. theres no green grass on the other side & i sometimes rather die. i cant do this anymore. im so lonely & depressed & deprived from any form of love and affection from anyone. all my life people have gave up on me. no one ever stayed. no one ever cared.... | |
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