Well ever since I was in about 2nd grade I have had thoughts of suicide because of not being socially accepted. Im a nice kid and do my best but i just dont see why no one likes me, the up to my life is that i have a good family. When I was in about 4th or 5th grade I took a bowling pin and started smashing it into my face after being told over and over at school that i was worthless and that i didnt belong on this earth. I was never emotionally depressed into all the wrist cutting and crap in middle school because i believe those people just want attention. all ive ever wanted are friends. Since I dont hang around kids i am the target for all bigger kids. i am like the main school punching bag, ive even broken bones to beatings at school. now its a week until high school and from what ive heard it keeps going downhill from here, i SINCERELY do not expect myself to be able to make it through all 4 years of highschool, i am one of the top 5 smartest kids in my class of 350, but i wont make it through highschool because i sincerely do not think that i can survive. i seriously barely survived middle school. i was about 2 beatings or 5 days more rejection away from hanging myself. at this point in the summer i am around my family all the time because any friends that i had in the past have moved on or out of town. well thats all i am complaining about for today, i might check back on this site in 4 years if im still alive to post again, wish me luck please | |
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