I am honestly to the point of thinking about suicide. When I was born my mother nor my father wanted me, they would let me (a 2 month old baby) lay there is my own vommit, shit, and piss for hours. Then when I was 2 my father started abusing me. He used to punch me in the stomach as hard as he could and laugh about it. He beat me with extension cords, fly swatters, and anything that was within reach. Then my grandmother took me away from him. But thats where the mental abuse started. Her husband didn't and still dont like me. He made me feel like shit for everything I had ever done. He made me feel like a burden to everyone. Like I was worthless. Then when I was 5 my uncle started molesting me. I told but everyone thought I was making lies and didn't believe me. Then when I was 8 my mother moved to the town we was living in. And her being my mother I wanted to have a relationship with her. I was too young to know she was no good, I just knew she was my "mommy". It went good for a few months until she started shooting me up with meth. She used to tell her friends right before she did it to watch how I twitched. She and her druggie friends thought it was hallarious. So that started my drug addiction. By the age of 12 I was addicted to meth, heroine, and cocaine. I was also an alcoholic. Then when I was still 12 I got really fucked up and ended up molesting my younger cousin, which I know was my fault and I admit that. At the age of 13, I was sentenced to 4 years in juvie. The time went by fast, I learned alot and I was hopeful to start a better life, I was clean and sober and I was happy at first when I got out. Then the sex offender registry made it impossible for me to get a job. So I decided to go to college. But when people found out I was a sex offender they started giving me so much shit that I had to drop out. So without a job that put me in default with my student loan. So now I am not able to go back to school until my loan is paid, which isn't going to happen cause I cant get a job. Well then I got married. She already had a daughter, then my daughter came along, she is 1 now. My brain is so fried that I can't even remember her birthday. Anyways my wife and I was together for almost 2 years. Until I started talking about TRYING to join the marines. Then she told me that if I got in she hoped I got deployed and got killed. So thats where my marrage ended. So now I have a new girlfriend whom I really love. With all my heart. But I cant provide for her or her baby. On top of that she is pregnant, but it's not mine. She got pregnant right before we got together. When we found out her due date it crushed me.