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fuck it

Posted by fuck it at February 15, 2010
Tags: Attitude  Drugs  2010 February

i was on the top of the world until the end of my senior year in high school, ive kinda been a jock my whole life, im a bigger guy but im very athletic, ive played football and wrestled my whole life and i was very good at them. So how did my depression start? I don't even know exsactly, but what I do know is what relly set it off. The first and only girl ive ever loved, broke up with me. And at the time i didn't think anything of it, until I realised I loved her more then anything, even my own life. After that everything fell apart. I failed high school and got really into to drugs. The result is i got busted by the cops. Now ive been depressed for 4 years straight, i think about killing myself every day for my life. I was the jock in high school and i wasn't the best student but i wasnt the worst, i just didn't care anymore. Im an athest now, i figured that there is no way there is a god with as much pain there is in the world, and if the is, i absolutly hate mother fucker


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Similar Entries:
a rant July 6, 2011
life aint beautiful April 24, 2012
Complain October 2, 2011
FUCKING LONELY March 16, 2012
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By at 16,Feb,10 14:19

Do NOT blame God for the way you feel or going through. If anything you should have asked him to give you strength to keep going without falling into drugs and failing school. YOu went through ALL this for a girl who broke up with you and didnt love you. Was she really worth it? Did you ever TRY to tell yourself that there she isnt the ONLY girl on the face of this planet? did you tell yourself that maybe this happened for a reason becuase she isnt the one and that there is someone else better out there? Maybe her breaking up was beneficial because she probably would have caused more hurt to you later on. WHO KNOWS. usually when people break up, it IS a favor because you dont want to be with someone who's feelings for you have died out but they are still with you out of obligation and pity. that wouldnt be fair to you or her!

God already has a bunch of haters on his list and the last thing he needs is YOU blaming him all becuase a girl broke up with you and you chose to let the pain linger for four years.

Drugs dont just pop into people's bodies, people PUT them in their system, so that was your choice.
You failing school was your choice. I'm not trying be mean here but you HAVE to take some responsibility here. You are ruining your life for HER, who's probably got her life sraight and is halfway finishing college.

If there are things that you don't like about yourself, Fix them. stay away from the drugs and start choosing to be happy. The feelings may not easily be turned off but it is up to you if you want to be happy or not. People go through break ups everyday and move on.
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