I am 29 years old and have 3 boys whom are the driving force behind all that I do. I am in a relationship going on ten years which has its ups and downs but is otherwise ok.
The problem I do have is I have a job that pays nothing, tons of debt, no free time to enjoy life and absolutely no friends.
My job is extremly dangerous. I risk my life on a daily basis to bring in a measly income. The problem with it though is that it is a technical job and one that does pay good given the right opportunity. I can't seem to find anything else though. This city I live in may as well be the ass end of the universe. High unemployment, no opportunity. I would move but all my efforts to find employment elsewhere result in zero calls. Its not that i don't have the credentials or experience, I've been working in my field for a few years and have been to college a few times. Which leads to my other problem. Tens of thousands of dollars in debt. Because of it I can't get a mortgage or a car loan. I can't save up any money to move out of social housing projects despite cutting back constantly. I am always selling everything I saved up for just to makE ends meet. I don't know what elsebi can cut back on. Its always a downgrade for me. My luck is shit too I swear every appliance or eletronic device fails on me even though I've owned it for a shirt period of time and I meticulously take care of everything I own. I can't do anything fun with my kids. They never been on a trip. I get no support from my family. In almost ten years we have had 3 or 4 nights where we didn't have kids at home. Between work and errands me and the wife never have any time together, not even to go to a movie. This wouldn't be so bad if I had friends to do something with but I don't have any. Everyone in this city is so ignorant and backwards and I have never found anyone with the same interests as me.
Life is just one boring day after the next where the only thing I have to look forward to is the next bad thing that happens to me. I feel as though where I live had alot to do with it but I have tried endlessly to get out. I feel like shit for not being ablebto provide a good life for my kids. It makese feel worse knowing they will suffer the same fate as me if I don't get us out of this city. All I ever think about is how much I hate my life. The only thing preventing me from killing myself is the thought of abandoning my kids like that. If things get any worse however im probably going to end up doing it. | |
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"Everyone in this city is so ignorant and backwards" REALLY?
Unless the population is 10 that isn't possible, its simply your outlook.
REMEMBER - it could be a lot worse. You could have been renting in Breezy Point New York and lost everything in a flood, been trapped in the attic waiting for the water to subside only to have your home burned to the ground hours later with you and your family in it.
Face it, you have a roof over your head, a job, a wife and kids...
YOU ARE BLESSED
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