So my mom is very obsessed with my dads facebook account. She found out that he has 2 facebook accounts - one for family and another for messing around. He doesn't know my mom knows the passwords and such for both accounts. My parents have been married for about 19 or so years and my dad has been caught cheating multiple times throughout those years. I really despise my dad and I despise my mom's weakness. I don't like to see her suffer(she's already in a semi-psychotic state) and I've been telling her for a while now to separate from him but not divorce. She doesn't even want to confront him because she loves him so much even though he treats her like dirt. She thinks they could work this out without confrontation or anything. My dad is the only provider for our family of 5, so I fear divorce would just make our situation worse. My 2 older brothers don't know about it, only me and my mom. She doesn't want to tell them but continues to ask me for help. She tells me almost every time she sees me that she's sad over the whole thing. The only thing that'll help is confronting him about it, but all she wants to do is avoid solutions and bitch to me about the whole fucking thing and repeat all the same fucking details. Plus, even if she does confront him, I fear he'll just deny deny deny, delete the account, and make a whole other one, and nothing will change. I told her to print proof and show, but she doesn't have the fucking spine to do so. I'd confront him myself, but it's something more between my parents. Fuck, all I know is that he's cheating - I don't have access to his dirty accounts like my mom does so I can get proof. I've confronted him about cheating multiple times before, but he just ends up laughing like it's just one big misunderstanding. He doesn't give a fuck whether i'm in tears or not, he just wants to save his ass.
I'm just really tired of all this shit. I'm sorry this whole thing is so long, but it just really annoys me that my dad doesn't give a shit about his family. I want it all to end, but I don't know how that'll start. Please, I really need someone who has been in my shoes and can give me advice. | |
It's really hard for anyone to tell you what you should do, because to give a really good advice, one would have to have a really good understanding of the situation and should know the personalities of people involved.
One thing is for certain though. Divorce would really be the best thing here. Could it be that your mom only thinks she still loves him? I mean, I'm a guy, so by default I don't understand any of this whole thing anyways, but I would think that if someone was caught cheating multiple times, love would be the least appropriate response from his spouse. Maybe, your mom is actually very worried about how you would live (being a big family and all) if you lost your only provider. Also, since they spent a long time together, she might have become used to having him around, but what she is actually feeling is just a sort of addiction, if you will, to being around that person. Change can be a scary thing in our minds.
Of course the situation is indeed complex, because if your dad and mom separated, who would then provide food and money? Are any of you old enough to get a job? These are things worth considering, but I would think that once this problem is sorted, divorce should follow for the sake of everyone. Your mom could get a fresh start, all of you could take a break from all the fighting ad whatnot, and dad could proceed to chase girls and not have to look over his shoulder. It's a win-win :).
Anyways, hope these rambling will prove to be of some use whatsoever.
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