LIFE SUCKS

I can't do this...

I have been on this Earth for 33 years. I have never really been happy. My dad told my mom that he didn't want be because I wasn't a boy. I have been molested too may times to count, raped, beat and told that I will never amount to shit buy many family members. My mom and dad divorced when I was 8, she remarried 5 months later to a man that she had been seeing for awhile. He liked to beat me. Then when I was 13 and my mom decided that she needed to go back to work, he decided it would be best if I played the part of "mom" when she wasn't around. From doing all the cooking and cleaning to getting up in the middle of the night when their new born child would cry. I also still had to get up and get 2 other children ready for school. Then he decided to rape and molest me. He told me that my mom would never believe me if I said anything to anyone. I decided to tell and he went to prison. MY MOM TOLD THE JUDGE THAT I SEDUCED HIM!!! She blames me to this day for sending him away. She let the state take me away and put me into foster care. The other children stayed with her. She visited him twice a month and never bothered to come see me. When he got out, she moved in with him and left my sister and 2 brothers with me. She never sent and money to help with anything. She was just worried about her. I had married at 18 to get my own place. He was in the Navy and was never around. Come to find out that he was sleeping with a bunch of other women. After 6 years of a messed up marriage, he decided to sleep with a close friend of mine. A few years after that, I met someone else. I thought that things were going to be different. This one cheated with an old azz woman. She was addicted to coke and liked to pop pills. I have always had a job. He couldn't find one to save his life. I have been paying all the bills for the past 6 years. I work 9 hours a day and come home and work some more. I am just really tired. The fighting and yelling is getting worse and worse. We never go anywhere or do anything. I don't own hardly anything. I am always broke. I cry all the time......FML