I just don't know where to begin.I am in tears on my couch on a saturday night without any plans and not knowing i will be that lonely for how long...I have always been hurt by men and i was always feeling lonely and depressed all throughout my life.I just wanted to love and be loved in return.I am quiet attractive,lovely and very nice to people.Everyone around me keeps asking me how a girl like me doesn't have a boyfriend and i myself can not find the answer either.I have a very good career and i really worked hard for it and i recently had a good job offer and came to Paris to live and work.I have always thought i would be more free and appreciated in another country but so far nothing has changed.I have a great family and now i am also away from them.Some nights i wake up with terrible nightmares and there is noone to run to.Most of the time i have no plans for the weekend and i stay home keep crying all the time.I tried dating but i can not find someone that i could love.When i go out men look at me or talk to me but i can not trust if it is only for my looks.I just feel so lonely i have no friends,no plans for the future altough i want to have kids and give all my love to them.I am a passionate person but at his age i still don't have a stable sexual life and i stay away from guys although i really love sex.I just want to be loved wanted and travel and enjoy life with someone i love and i trust.Is it so much to ask for at the age of 30?I have always been so nice to the people i have loved and very self sacrifising.Why do i get that horrible loneliness in return?Where is the karma working and what God is punishing me for?I never hurt anyone,i just worked hard and suffered many times when is the time coming for me to leave this all behind and become happy in life with a big smile on my face? | |
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Find friends at community centre of people from your origin. Find friends at work, find friend on Gumtree Paris, find friends with hobbies, and make friends with people who need help from you.
Find a lover with a less pretty outlook and by acting as your true-self whenever you meet new partner from now on.
Not to mention you describe yourself as attractive and female, that means you willfully choose to be alone as being attractive and female means guys will actively pursue you.
Try living alone without having a date in years, and sex, forget about that. I wouldnt even know what I am doing, much more be good at it. At 31 yrs old. Now thats pathetic.
You said you have always been hurt by men. This can lead to a logical conclusion- you always chose the wrong men. Do you tend to gravitate towards the somewhat loud, extroverted, impulsive, flirtatious men with extremely high self esteem. I believe women use words like strong, manly, fun, exciting to describe this type of men. Us guys just call them dickheads :). After a while the "excitement" that lured you to that man fades and turns into conflict (in the form of cheating, beating, yelling and general mistreatment on the part of the guy). I have seen so many great women fall for these types of guys. I could never understand that though, because it's pretty obvious what they are all about. On the other hand I'm a guy, so maybe their charms don't work on me as they do on women.
Believe it or not, there are men out there, who want more from a relationship than just sex, and who are much more caring and patient than a lump of ice. You just have to be clever about what you choose. Try the slightly more introverted (not the same thing as shy), or shy (not the same thing as introverted) guys.
Going by your description of yourself, I really can't come up with any other reason why you are still alone. Just bad luck or bad choices. Keep trying.
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