went to church | Posted by dodo777 at December 4, 2011 | Tags: 2011 December |
Well I went to church like I said I would I felt very self concous as church has changed since the last time I went 44 years ago I was so nervous shaking peoles hands I was never good at that intreducing ones self anyway my first impression that I think I gave people was a very screwed up nervous guy I dont know wether to go again .The paster asked for my number and address and asked would it be ok if he came to visit I said yes but in the back of my mind I was worrying about my son as he smokes skunk 24/7 and he is abit of a rebal but I do welcome the paster coming down as I need help and cant go on like this.I have been having breakdowns since I was 15 and this time I aint keeping it all in as I cracked last time and hurt people I am so determind to get my head sorted and not rely on drugs or drink to cover the way I am feeling.I got one freind that phoned when I was in church and he is dead against the church so I text him and said I was some were else I will tell him but to his face he also had a bad time when he was young but he has fallen into a good job and a good woman.We grew up together but when we turned 16 he went into the army I went into borstal and since then my lifes been crap and his quite good.Well thats it really.I hope I can find it in me to go to church again like I said the paster is coming down so I suppose I will.Now I realise that my nerves are worse than I thought god help me on this rocky road. | |
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