I consider myself a nice person. When a friend needs someone to talk to I'm there, if someone needs to borrow money I lend it to them if i can, and even try to help out friends with school. I ask for nothing in return and guess what? That's exactly what I get. None of my friends or family ever offer to help me when I'm struggling. I have to beg for favors and usually I'm met with unsympathetic stares . People are only ever nice to me when they need something. I can barely ever get my "friends" to return my phone calls, texts, or get them to hang out. I feel like they mistake my kindness for weakness. I can't even talk to anyone about how I feel about anything because the only advice I ever get is to suck it up and fix it. They blame me for my own problems. Yet when someone is telling me they're having a hard time I'm nothing but nice and I try to cheer them up, not tell them that they're their own problem. People rarely ever pay me back on time if they bother to pay me back at all. I'm sick of being walked on but whenever I try to act the way they do no one wants anything to do with me. On top of that I'm doing horribly in school. Not for lack of studying or trying but I guess I'm too fucking stupid to figure college out. When I try to ask friends who have taken the classes I'm struggling with they barely do anything and say go to tutoring. 'I already tried fucking tutoring it didn't help at all why do you think I'm asking you' is what I think while they act as if I'm just not trying. WTF is wrong with me that I can't get anyone to feel anything for me but annoyance and disgust I feel like just quitting, shutting down and going through the motions like some kind of robot. I can't take feeling like a door mat anymore | |
After school, what keeps you going is youll think that it gets better. Unfortunately this isnt the case. Lets hope that one day, maybe not even in this existence, we get treated fairly.
people can be very magnanous or downright tight but usually most would help if they understood you needed it. generally they are just oblivious, mainly hooked on their own issues.
Try and understand that human nature is this way and that there are no ill feelings meant. They are just blind to your needs.Nest time they need help point out you have to wrestle your gremlins first and could they help you? (ie turn the effort back to them). helping you should wke them from their apathy :D
Dont let bad feelings fester try and distract yourself when feeling that way. bad feelings are like the Devils cancer dont let it take hold.
Distract yourself with a hobby, interest, TV anything to break the negative loop.
Remember you are easily as good as everyone else and probably better. Perhaps try not to overhelp others but rather give them a leg up or advice ie if they need $1000 offer them a few dollars for the immediate criis and help em prioritise. That way you wont "train" them that your their only resolution.
If you stuff up a lot try another tack ie "If you always do what you always did. Then you can only get what you always got".
Cherish what you have ie a warm bed a full stomach, a girl or boy friiend a family. And you will see there are good things.
Try and look at what it relly is that bothers you ask someone you trust and look up to if they could help point you in the right direction and go out and slay that blasted dragon:D Good luck guys I truly hope you feel better soon.
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