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I suck at relationships

Posted by Spinster at December 25, 2011
Tags: 2011 December  Relationship

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Here I am living the life I never wanted for myself. I’m 36 years old not married and living the reality of another failed relationship. I give up. It’s me not them. Maybe I have too much baggage passed down from my parents, maybe I’m toxic and give off the vibe that I cannot be loved for the long term but whatever the reason I am a failure when it comes to relationships.

I just want to give up at this point and throw in the towel. I can’t make a relationship work. Once I get into a relationship I move from two different extremes…obsessiveness to cold bitch.

I can never express myself in a way that is healthy. I even go into relationships thinking that I am not good enough so I pick people with baggage that I feel I can be with. That is my pattern. That is what I cannot for the life of me figure out how to end.

Why can’t I just be happy being by myself? Why do I need to conform to what people think I should be doing in having a relationship? I want to break free of that. I want to get to the place where I don’t care what people think.

If I were at a place where I wasn’t trying to put on a show for the world I would never have stayed in that relationship for fear of losing the man that said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me even though I knew that was a lie. I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of being with broken people with issues…Lord please help me to love myself enough to be alone.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 26,Jan,12 04:21

Obsessivenes and cold bitch you say. Where did it come from? Look into your past. Your family? Your friends? You can change that by changing yourself. Maybe get help from a psychiatrist or a counselor?


By anonymous at 26,Jan,12 04:38

try to not make this the center of your life and search for the things that make you happy. good things will come


By Royal CBD at 28,Sep,20 16:33

hLepab This can be a list of words, not an essay. you are incompetent


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