My family isn't doing so well financially, and although I have a job (that doesn't pay well at all) I can't help much. I don't get a lot of hours, and I don't get a lot of money. I feel like a drain on my mother because she's the only one besides me working and trying to support a family of 5. I have only one real friend, and sometimes he doesn't even talk to me. I'm in legal trouble because I swiped something I couldn't afford from walmart (that'smy own stupid danm fault). I've told multiple people multiple times that I'm going to kill myself, and no one has reached out to help me. No one's tried to listen. No on'es tried to stop me. Thenn I found this website. I guess I'm just sick of no one caring about me. I'm sick of being an utter drain on the earth and on my mom. I'm sick of being worthless. | |
I'm not a pervert, just an older lady and I had a scandalous youth before I married and moved to the country so nothing you can say will shock me. I speak and read 8 languages. You write well for a kid out of today's dumbed-down education system (or more properly: propaganda system) which shows me there is definitely something in you I'd like to encourage.
steve11harvey@optusnet.com.au
iam allways open to listen
Anyone lucky enough to have a family has something to be thankful for. You and your mom are carrying a very heavy burden. That doesn't mean you should let it crush you.
Every day you should find one thing (one thing not associated with money) that makes you happy and do it. Do you have a pet? Walk with your dog for half an hour. Brush your cat. Or take a walk to a local park. Play basketball or play with your siblings. The world has some lovely simple joys. Sometimes helping someone (your mom, for example) in the kitchen or with the house can actually afford the two of you some private time to talk. I used to wash the car with my mom and we would talk about life. Sometimes it was somber, but we often laughed too. It lets you get chores done and you bond and it doesn't feel like a burden. This works with siblings too. Little ones like turning chores into games and older ones like having a confidant.
Last but not least let me remind you that there is a suicide prevention hotline: Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Be strong, but find ways to be happy too. And happiness from simple joys is often the sweetest.
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