I'm in my early 40's. I married late (35 years old) because I waited for the "right guy" hahahah so I thought! Turns out my husband really only married me because he wanted to have children. The sad thing is that I suspected that but married him anyways, so really I have no one to blame but myself. He seemed so intensely in love with me though and I thought we would be so good together and all I lacked in life was love so I thought that we would have kids and I would have his love forever, but it turns out that he as only really intense about the kid part, and after I had 3 miscarriages and 1 stillborn baby he has decided that I am not quite the one for him. He is cold and jokes about getting a divorce. We are seeing a counselor but he is angry that we "have to see a counselor". I feel lonely and sad in this marriage but I can't put my finger on what the problem is because it's hard to pinpoint. we've been married 6 years. He contacted an escort last month but didn't follow through, but the escort called back on his cell phone and I happenned to pick up that day and did research. So now I know that he might have tried to cheat on me. Still no proof. We looked into international adoption and fostering, but both of us determined that we couldn't handle any more heartbreak and we also can t' afford it. I'm fine not having children now but I wish I had a busband who loved me still, but he seems to sometimes hate me but will never come right out and say it and when I try to talk to him about it he says I am just trying to cause an argument. We've both started drinking a lot of alcohol lately. For me, it's just to get through the day. I feel heartbroken and alone. I'm still loving him and hoping it will get back to the way it was. | |
Honestly you should be happy that you found someone at your age. Unless you prefer to be alone the rest of your life.
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