i have read some really depressing things and all of them are exactly the same, but all of them hurt. i know i hurt.. everyone probably hurts so wtf do i have to do with anything. i know I'm struggling with something but i just dont know what, i dont know why i am sad, i dont know why i feel like crying everyday but just cant. and i try to relieve it, i try to tell people and do everything i can to help myself but it doesn't help. even typing this.. i fell as if it just makes me sadder. i dont want to be sad, i dont want to take medication for it, or have some sort of stupid disorder that labels me a useless bitch, just like my mom. its probably because I'm so weak. i would always hate the girls in shows that say there so depressed i would always think "god just stand on your own to feet and get over it!" and that's what i tell myself! so why cant i?
i cant even talk to people, i never let anyone get close to me, i push them away and thats why i am so excluded and why everyone thinks i am a freak. i cant do anything! karma is BS! i try so damn hard but i always fail!!! the only thing i love to do is write and even then i am bad at it. i cant do anything and i just cant get over it! i dont want to be the one who fails at life and who writes about there depressed life on some stupid web site. why cant i just get over it. i thought life was bad before, but for some reason all of a sudden my sister, the only one i care about leaves me and i am left being selfish and writing about how bad my life is when i know other people are so much worse off than me | |
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