okay so most people would say life isnt that bad, but in truth, it really is. nothing has really happened lately but i really feel i am a nobody. i have tons of friends but im not close to anyone. my BEST friend who i loved like a brother moved and i have no contact with him because of his pill head mom. the "special girl" i like really digs me too, but i know if i asked her out she would tell me no. shes just so cool but so shy to that kind of stuff. i have no one to connect to and its tearing me apart. i would never do suicide but life does really suck. im a big christian, (as my name,) and i have a relationship with god, but still. i dont know what to do. i feel like cutting but just to relieve stress, and no aim to kill. im locked up in my own world and its becoming a night mare. people that have no controll over me tell me what to do and ive had enough, considering every bit has no reason. if their is a good reason, i follow their wishes but it gets annoying. when ur first kiss is with a hoe and she dates all of ur friends, it also lets u know that what u had was nothing special. i look at everyone else in my grade as little kids, but some are older than me. i feel older inside thatmn i really am. im really young but i feel i should be older. i guess u could say im an adult in a kids body. it feesls good to let it all out and releive some stress. but now i have to go back to my suckish life. | |
p.s
i am drinking again
If you say "NO" well you are on the otherside, maybe you can understand why someone would do that, and it is acceptable. Well you are Evil too...lol.
raymspeight@yahoo.com
Basically, GOD IS REAL.
:)
Pain us not enjoyable. Especially when ur life sucks.
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