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living a lie

Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2012
Tags: Appearance  Attitude  2012 February

no one knows that I'm so depressed. My life is not so bad, externally. I am not poor, hungry, stupid or alone.But I have hardly any friends. One is depressed, and one doesn't care about me. The thing that gnaws on me is my appearance. People don't treat me well because of how I look. I have acne, wrinkles already (I am a teenager!), and the worst thing is the hair.


and I'm a girl.

It doesn't matter where I go or what I do, I'm constantly dampened by my horrible appearance. Sure I can work hard, get money, live in a big house etc etc. But that won't bring me happiness. Happiness primarily comes from relationships with people, friendships and partnerships. Doesn't it?
Without these relationships (and believe me, I try) what good is it. Even when I do go and do something with people I don't feel included because of how I look.

I know it seems trivial but it's actually not.
It doesn't matter what I do in my life, my ugliness will follow me.
Forever and ever.
So I think about suicide a lot.

that's all folks


Similar Entries:
tired of living April 21, 2012
You Dont Have To Be Alone May 3, 2011
Tired September 2, 2011
34 and living with my parents September 24, 2010
I just want it to end April 27, 2012

New Comment

By anonymous at 02,Mar,12 22:48

Dude, Being pretty is not the only thing which will make you happy. It's all about how you feel. You'll find someone soon who is as good as you from inside because that's all what matters. Being pretty or ugly is all how God made us. It's about being good from inside,helping people and the most important,BELIEVING IN YOURSELF! No one will ever come up and say "You're the best" It's all about believing in your ownself.
See I just felt too bad reading your story so I had to coment. Anyways YOU'RE PRETTY BECAUSE YOU'RE A GOOD HUMAN BEING. Stay happy and live long. :D

By anonymous at 03,Mar,12 02:25

Keep finding myself posting this bible verse, why? Because its true. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, the poor, and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a illustration: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
As that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.

God sometimes uses suffering to mold us, to make us turn to him, to convict us of sin, he has his reasons. Also understand that we live in a sinful broken world, our hope shouldn't be in this world but in Jesus and heaven. Without Jesus we will never be satisfied in this life. Life on earth compared to eternity is like the blink of an eye.

God is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes, hardships and sins and make them into something completely new!

When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful! Many people can testify to how God has changed them. Ive never heard of anyone regretting putting their faith in jesus.

Are you saved? God can turn the worst of situations into good! Joeseph was left for dead and put into slavery by his brothers, he was abandonded, afraid, probably thought his life was over. But he trusted God, he then eventually became second in command of Egypt. Without looking into the future it can be hard to be optimistic. If you put your faith with jesus he wont abandon you, he will love you and give you a new life. All you have to do is accept jesus as your lord and savior and ask for forgiveness of your sin, he will wash away all your sin (everyone has sin).

By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 01:26

And my final comment to all of you trolls who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.

By Ardy at 10,Dec,15 19:05

Just finished your book and I loved it. I was tnkniihg with your vast experience you should write an article or webinar on how an artist can get his/her work branded. I'm off to create with all the inspiration I got from reading your book. My sketchbook was right next to me. Thank you for being you.

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