I never used to be like this. I started it out as a happy 13 year old boy, drug free and happy, but now I'm drug abusing loser.
It started in the 8th grade summer, when I was taking medication for my acne problems. Little did I know that a major side effect of the problem was depression. I became suicidal, and what made it worse was I could only talk to a girl that kept breaking my heart, not even waiting to kiss another boy as she told me she loved me. I was also hurt by the fact my mom had left the house for a while after a fight with my father. My friends had even moved on, ignoring me whenever I wanted advice for my depression. They thought I was being a bitch. I guess I was.
During that summer I met some new friends on the high school football team. They were all talking about how they were all going through phases, and how they all felt good about high school. Being still depressed, I could only talk about problems and issues I had. It wasn't until the last mint of summer until someone on the team recommended I should try smoking pot.
I didn't believe him, as I felt I was a clean and responsible individual, but I was soon convinced that maybe it would help relieve my stress. So one day in the hot summer day, I tried smoking with that kid. Boy did my life change. One puff made me realize what I was missing out on, and little did I realize how good life got.
Freshman year started, and I felt my old friends didn't like me anymore, so I stopped talking to them. I got associated with the druggies, who were the most popular and got old the beautiful women. I didn't really care though, I was in it for the drugs.
At 14 years old, I got into drinking and doing almost every type of drug I could get my naive hands on, until one day I got caught. I thought I could keep clean for a while, and maybe even meet up with my old friends. Soon I realized though that it wasn't easy to just stop. A week after getting caught I was back at it again.
Sophomore year was the time I began losing money. Stealing from my family had gotten too far, so I decided dealing. I sold anything I could get my hands on, and I began ignoring school to do it. Cutting class was normal and snorting coke was a regular thing. I felt like I was a winner. Then one day I was too dumb enough to really think I could smoke weed in the school campus. Being high off my mind, I thought I really could do it. I got caught instantly, getting the crime written down on my school record. Now I was done for if I ever wanted to attend college.
2 years have passed and now I am a drug addict. I sell drugs on the side, and do whatever I can to get high all the time. I pop pills in class and smoke weed in the bathrooms. I got together with my old friends, who are all heavy stoners, and we all got high together. I guess it wasn't until yesterday, when I blacked out (a usual thing) my friends decided to leave me, feeling that I have gotten too much into drugs. Now I have no friends, and no one who cares about me. I know it's my fault for all the shit that happened, but I just wish I had a second chance. No one will ever help and ugly loser like me, who won't even get far in life. I feel the only choice I have now is gangbanging, since I can't get a legal job easily. So much for being young I guess. I feel like there's no point in living, for I have nothing to live for. | |
we human's all come to this planet for the first time, therefore we make mistakes and from these we learn. Concidering yourself an ugly loser is not helping you. This feeling of worthlessness is so painfull that it makes you want to get high/stoned/numb just not to feel it.
So walk up to the mirror and tell yourself: I am a loser, and see if you believe it.
There are no losers, there is only people who lost something: the joy of being a beautiful, strange, wonderfull creature.
Good luck!
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