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Lonely in crowds.

Posted by Film Nerd 85 at March 4, 2012
Tags: Loneliness  2012 March

So my life isn't bad at all. I have a good job, a decent flat and things are pretty comfortable. Sadly though I am desperately lonely.

I work in a school. That means I talk to a lot of people everyday. There are no really solid connections to my life though, nothing that stays with me at the end of the day.

Nearly all of my free time is taking up with film making, striving for the dream. I have made a massive amount of friends through that over the last couple of years.

I shouldn't be lonely. I shouldn't have time to be. But I am. There is no one to come home to. No one to share this all with. No one to grow with or get away from it all with. Just me.

Recently, I made an effort at fixing this. Internet dating. Not so great. Making an effort to talk to people more. No result. Finally, I met someone. From my point of view things were going great. Brilliant even. I was mistaken.

Now I'm feeling solitude more keenly than ever and everything that happens at the moment seems to be intended to compound the oppresive isolation. Friends are dropping out of organised events leaving me to go by myself. People I work with have taking very nasty and inexplicable turns against me. I haven't even seen my family in weeks now.

All I can do is rumble along and try to succeed. I can't even think of hoping things will improve, I just expect disappointment now.

It's good to share.


Similar Entries:
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New Comment

By at 08,Mar,12 17:58

Hi. It sounds like you are doing the right things to make your life better. School and work take up much of your time so meeting people can be hard. Being a part of organized events is a great way to break up the monotony of work/school, so keep up with those even if you have to go by yourself. If you stick with things long enough you will meet people. And don't be afraid to drop that group if you decide to pick up another. School is the place to try out new things. It sounds like all you need is someone to give you a little encouragement. Go Filmnerd85!

By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 18:36

I agree. You sound very articulate and know where things are off. I do think that if you choose 1 or 2 people you think are honestly solid people to bounce things off of, that it should help with whatever seems off. I know that feeling of just general isolation. I can say with some honesty that sometimes making a connection is far harder than it should be simply because people in general are so self absorbed. hang in there

By mary at 10,Mar,12 21:58

Your post really got to me. You sound smart and plain honest. Obviously, I am pretty lonely too. Right now I think that talking to someone (even online) could help. I have never given a stranger my email, but there is always a first time for everything, so, here I go:
Feel free to write at any time.

By anonymous at 11,Mar,12 18:21

Sounds like you are just like all of us. I am 52 and still have trouble with life. But it does get better and then worse again and then better again etc....Sara x

By take a look at it! at 23,Oct,13 23:51

88iLnZ Appreciate you sharing, great blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.

New Comment