When we say our lives suck, there's a question that should be asked. Compared to what?
We are always scanning our world to determine where we are. Our brain is constantly trying to evaluate, by comparison, whether we're in the 'right' place or not. Mr. Jones has a lovely wife & kids, a nice car, a big house and a good job. But me, I don't have any of those things. Or look at Sheila, she has a great figure, a great guy for a boyfriend/husband and nice things. We are constantly comparing what we have or don't have with what others have or don't have.
But this thinking is a bottomless pit, a question without an answer. Whenever we ask, "What is this all about, what is the meaning of my life," we're asking a question that literally has no answer. Viktor Frankl who survive the concentration camps of Germany, went so far as to create an entire therapy around this very problem (what is the meaning of existence). In his book, "Man's Search For Meaning," he remarks that to ask what is the meaning of my life is irresponsible (yes, irresponsible). Is would be like asking a Chess Master, "What's the one and only, best chess move?" There's no such thing. It depends on where the chess pieces are at any given moment. So the question is not, what is life all about, but "what is life asking of me."
The reason we don't want to ask that question however, is because it puts the responsibility of making our own choices, upon us. We talk about freedom, we write about freedom, we even fight for freedom, but it's the freedom of choosing our own lives and then carrying out those choices, that we find the most difficult to handle. Say it isn't so, but when we find ourselves asking, "what's it all about," it's a sure sign we've given up our freedom to choose.
This has plagued mankind since we hit the ground running. The idea that the outcome of our lives rests soley upon us and no one else, is often unbearable. It's safer, easier, more comfortable, and a lot less queazy to say some external force (parent, society, government, girl or boy friend etc.) is causing me to be where I am and do what I'm doing.
It's not fair to say, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. That's ridiculous. But for us to really leave this grey, sketchy, icky, unknowing life behind, we have to ask, "What is life asking of me," and then have the courage to follow our intuition when answer comes. | |
but if it does suck cock all the time, you know it
tl;dr kurt kobain did an hero because his life sucked..
Schopenhauer argued that you can do what you want, but you can't choose what you want. That is, if you're an introvert, you can't wake up one day and decide to become a party animal.
I don't mean this as some magic or mumbo jumbo, but even science has shown that humans aren't that good at choosing what will make us happy beyond just a couple of weeks. It will take openness, self-trust and courage to go where you hadn't planned. But that's where you should go.
What is life asking of you? There's something unique about you that has to be brought to the world.
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