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don't know why I'm unhappy

Posted by prix at March 10, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 March

I don't know why i"m unhappy. I'm engaged, live in a comfortable place have food on the table as struggling business. But really I'm okay. I read the stories on here and realize I have it better than most. But really I'm still unhappy. I got engaged to a guy I've been with for several years and moved my life to be closer to him.

The transition has been hard on me financially. I actually started a savings account before left and now every month I go to 0. My good friend has moved in with us who has a baby. The baby is just adorable.

So I should be happy. My legs work I'm not in a war torn country. But I can't seem to get myself off internet shows. I have no passion for what I do anymore. I don't want to work.

A few months after I moved my fiancé and I got into a disagreement. He was drinking all night and almost hung himself on Christmas lights outside. I'm supposed to forget this. He drinks much less but I still hate how it takes so few drinks to get him to a slurry voice. His jaw shifts and he acts like I can't tell. He then wants sex and I want nothing to do with him.

We're supposed to get married soon and all my friends and family are going to make their way over here and I just want it all to stop.

We've talked about breaking up and he says he'll be fine without me. He can keep going and working. I think why do I put up with this? But my heart aches more than it ever has at the thought of this.

But again he brings me dinner most nights and tells me I'm a beauty. He lets my friend stay here and is very clean. So I guess I should just stop complaining.


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Comments:
By Cursed at 12,Mar,12 21:14

You better take a "REALITY" CHECK quick sister. I don't want to sound like a bitch, but he is definitely going to make your life more miserable if you continue to ENABLE him.
The more he puts you down, the better he feels and down goes another beer...
Trust me, he likes the fact that he has you under his thumb. It gives him a sense of false "power" over you-
But what the fuck do I know-
I'm Cursed.


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 02:12

Life is short. If your relationship has become what you've posted, then you need to re-evaluate your life now. The last thing you want is to be in relationship that feels more like a prison. You have to find joy in life. You want to be with someone, because they make you feel special inside and out. They treat you like you're the only person in the room. So where to start? You have to learn to love yourself. Yes, it sounds corny. How can you expect to love someone, if you can't love yourself first? Do yourself a favor, find the love you deserve. Good luck.


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 11:23

Venture into the marriage, after all, what choice do you have? However, don't expect too much from the relationship and invest too much emotion cause it might end up breaking your heart. All you need is a definite plan for yourself, who knows what's better until you try? Life holds plenty of twists and turns, it's how you deal with it that makes you the main character of your own story. Know what i mean?
Wish you the best of luck.


By Truth at 13,Mar,12 16:12

well, the only answer here is to kill yourself.
By anonymous at 24,Jul,12 23:06

How could you say that to someone bordering on depression? You are sick.


By washington dc at 28,Sep,20 11:14

e3HcdM Thank you for sharing this excellent piece. Very inspiring! (as always, btw)


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