You don't know me and I don't know you. This is what encourages me to write.
But let me introduce myself--- I am a fat, ugly, despicable, stupid girl. People tell me that I'm fat, I weight 65kg. I feel like an idiot every time I open my mouth, I don't feel secure enough to start a conversation. Even so, I try to be as friendly as I can and help everyone as much as I can. I can't stand to looked at myself in the mirror... it always makes me think about how I torture others by making them look at me. I used to have good grades, go to all contests and win the I, II, or sometimes IIIrd place. Now, I don't. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was a good student. But now... . I don't even have real friends. My so called real friend calls only when she needs me to do something for her. Actually, everyone calls me just because they want me to do something for them. I have never had a boyfriend and I feel unwanted.
I manage to upset my parents and make them argue because of me, I manage to ruin their day. I hate myself so badly that I'm almost scared.
Just while I was writing this, my so called best friend called and wanted me to help her with an exercise from homework. I wasn't sure I was right so I told her only half of answer and suggested that it would be better to call someone else. After the conversation was over, she sent me a message saying that I was... well, i don't thing it's a good idea to write it here so I'll keep it to myself.
I am afraid... | |
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