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Life can be fine but my mind isnt

Posted by Hayle at March 11, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 March

Since I was thirteen i have told myself I will not live long. I have always told myself there is something wrong with me. It's like everything in the world can be perfect, but my brain or my heart tells me "hey don't worry your need going to be happy" I wake up in the morning and cry I go to sleep and cry. I have been cutting severely since the 7th grade. I have more cuts on my body then hair on my head. On December 12, 2010 I drove my dodge Durango into a cement wall head on at 90 mph. I walked away without a scratch. People tell me oh your so lucky. If I'm so lucky why do I feel worse then ever. Why an I not wanting to be here. Why have I researched the amazing ways people end there life. Well idl what to do anymore I really don't. It don't matter I walnt be here long.

Votes:

Similar Entries:
untitled story April 28, 2010
Lost April 12, 2012
silence May 21, 2012
Its all in the head.  January 14, 2012
im so lonely March 4, 2012


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Comments:
By Truth at 13,Mar,12 19:28

Have you tried shitting your own pants? Sounds silly, I know, but i was once like you, and one day I had one taco too many and then went to borders. They were remodeling so the bathroom was out, but nature hit me hard and fast. I went over to the religious studies section where no one ever is, and tried to let some of the pressure out with a fart. Nope...mobey dick flopped on the deck and I had a full load.

Oddly, though, it was kind of exhilerating...that no one caught me. It was weird having like 6 or 7 dogs follow me home, but I greatly lightened up after that. Now, I finds that if i shit myself in public every couple months I'm just fine...right as rain.

...so, I'm thinking....try that out at walmart or something.
By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 20:33

LOL WTF
By anonymous at 14,Mar,12 05:06 Fold Up

Omg that totally worked for me, except the last time i did it, my neighbours dogs got attracted to the scent and started buttfucking me infront of everybody. Then they tore my pants and the shit got scattered everywhere!!!
There was shit EVERYWHERE EVERYWHEEEEEEEREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!


By anonymous at 14,Mar,12 04:54

its obviously not normal to be cutting and even worse by how young you were when you started. You need to get counseling. Did something traumatic happen to you when you were a young? Traumatic experiances in our youth take very negative effects on us emotionally, a therapist can help you straight out your emotions (for lack of a better word). Jesus can help you aswell,: Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." You can try to take him at his words, he knows your pain, he loves you and wants a better life for you.

Have hope, you have a lot to offer the world, dont give up, things can change!

Regards,


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