I am a 27 year old female virgin, still living with my parents, I can't drive, and have never lived on my own, or been on holiday on my own. I have never had a boyfriend or dated any one, as I get older all I do is watch other people be happy with each other and wondering why I must be singled out as different, i can't talk to anyone about this as there is no one who will relate, to be told that I am attractive, good looking, it just leads me to thinking that I must be ugly on the inside to be repelling people away, guys stare but they don't approach, and I have tried to be more active in this, by striking up conversations first, smiling back, but I never know what to do beyond that stage and it never progresses to a phone call, I am an antisocial person by nature, so I am out of my comfort zone in this, although guys like to think women have the power in regards to sex, we really don't, society dictates that it is the man who should make the contact, as a woman you have to play games to get a guy to "chase" you, and you have to do it the right way: come on too soft and they won't get the message, come on too strong and they think you are desparate, I never realised trying to be happy was so hard. I am not defining my happiness on another person, but it is nice to atleast experience a moment with someone. To have someone, even for a short time, think that you are worth something.
That's only one problem, which I guess could be related to a wider problem of general social anxiety. But this is something which stems from sufferring from a bad skin condition from when i was a child, and living with the scars, which people say they can't see, and I don't know if the scars are really still there or I am imagining it.
I worked to get my degree and my masters only to end up in a job i hate working overtime for shifts I don't get paid for, with no chance for promotion, in a recession which makes it hard to find another job. I have been working on my dreams/ambitions of things I want to achieve for so long with nothin accomplished yet, I wonder is it worth it?
I want to go on holiday and take a break, but can't bare the thought of going alone as I have no friends to go with. I am miserable/crying on a daily basis.
I feel like I don't really have a future, the key success in life is being able to share your life with another person, reproducing, becoming a mother, I feel like I will never have these things, I will never have someone call me mother, wife, lover. I will die alone. sometimes it seems better to just end my pathetic existance. I even called up a suicide prevention line, but was too scared to speak and hung up.
I have learned in my experience and sufferring that everyone has a hard life, everyone suffers, everyone goes through pain, but most people will have experienced a small piece of happiness (or if you are luckky a long period of happiness) with another person: boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, kids. but (and I dare anyone to disagree with me) no one goes through as hard a life, as someone who will die never having loved, or been loved, they are going through the same problems and hardships that everyone else is going through, plus the fact that thay are an evolutionary failure, the prime purpose in life is to reproduce and they {meaning me] can't even do that right. | |
I know it's hard to make friends, and the older you get, the harder it is...
Can you find solace in any activities that you enjoy? Taking a risk socially sounds like a big deal for you, but if you could find some outlets, anything- clubs, volunteering, hell- go on a vacation alone, if that's what it takes-
But do something. Anything to get you out of your routine, so that you'll open up an opportunity to meet someone?
Well, that's my two cents-
But if anything, writing down your problems is good therapy...
Your friend on Life Sucks,
Cursed
hook.cynthia@yahoo.com
First of all, you posited right upfront that it COULD be you are "anti-social" by nature. WELL NO FUCKING SHIT!!! Imagine that...you're anti-social so no one seems to want to interact with you! Holy fuck....whoda thunk it? Think you might be able to tone it down a bit nancy? How about instead of just giving up and slinking away you just walk up to the object of yyour feeble interpersonal communication attempt and asking him (or her) " hey what the fuck, jingo, do I offend? Clearly I got panty puddles for you so why don't you wise up and get ready to bump uglies with me???" .....or something along those lines. Now, I guarantee you that unless your face looks like somebody ran it thru the clothes drier with along with a box of nails, you're gonna get some, and that's the first step toward getting a connection.
You gotta "connect" , before you can connect. Now, all these saps here will tell you "oh poor baby..it's not you it's everybody else. That Truth guy is just a mean old bastard" BULLSHIT, I'm giving it to you straight! It IS you...all you. You're a goddamn basket case right now, but we just got us a hint as to what to do first.
Second....one word, booze. Jinkwater, 40, love potion #80, proof, vagina vinegar, pussy pop, ugly eraser....hooch. You gotta start drinkin'..like, today...right now even. In fact, I'd do this first, before you try the technique above. it's best if you start drinking before 10 a.m....that way you're loaded up right around lunch time, and you can keep this going all day and night long with a minimum of fuss. Much easier to manage than having a coupe hours to get loaded before closing time. Use booze wisely, or rather, daily, and you'll have all the lovin you can handle.
Now, finally, you're a fuckin liar who needs to get over herself. SOMEONE has loved you before...I bet someone loves you now and you're too fucking stuck in your lovely dark cloud to figure that out. It's bad enough you lie right here to me, but what's worse is you lie to yourself...daily. I'd love to cover you with baloney slices and then let 9 feral cats in the room to take care of the mess, and then I'd pee in all of your houseplants before I took the last oreo out of your cookie jar and smashed it into your white carpet with the heel of my warboot.
but...that'd be too easy...you make it rough enough on yourself, BY yourself, already. So shut the fuck up, pay attention to what I said, and go get the love that's already there just about ready to punch you in your blind ass face.
You're welcome!
i am like you but much worse. i am 26, broke, unemployed, and uneducated as well as carless and friendless and living with my parents. so your situation could be a lot worse cuz i wish had my degree and a job.
if you're bad with dating in the real world cuz you're shy and have social anxiety, try online dating.
HAZE....
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