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I lost faith in myself

Posted by anonymous at March 15, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 March

I'm a 19 year old male from the Philippines and I have completely lost faith in myself. I have been this way for a long time and sometimes I wonder why I am not dead. Yes, I have contemplated suicide, but only when I hurt and 80% of the time I do. There's just so much going on in my life right now. Too much for me to handle. Life wasn't always like this, I used to be happy but when things took the turn for the worse, I started to lose faith, and now I am close to none. I just want to break down and cry because all of this pain is tearing me up inside. I want to go to sleep forever and live in a world of dreams, I believe that I would be happier there.

I guess all of that is really my fault. Only I can control my life and I let myself slip down to this level. And I guess there's no turning back now. I am dead inside. I just wish I was capable of doing more, but I'm not strong enough... My heart aches...

To the people I have hurt, I apologize, I wish I was better.

(This is not a suicide note)


Votes:


Similar Entries:
I am sad March 16, 2012
I've always hated life January 25, 2010
You really have no idea October 7, 2011
Can't get a break March 19, 2012
for what is't worth September 18, 2011



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Comments:
By at 16,Mar,12 20:39

There is no God except Allah;
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.


Recitation with understanding of true meaning of this phrase is all that is required for converting to Islam. This phrase, known as Shahada, is a simple creed but has very profound meaning in it and the faith behind it brings people out from darkness into light. By making this declaration and by accepting the obligations of Islamic Law, anyone can join this fastest growing religion. Any person who sincerely believes that there is only One True God, worthy of worship - Allah - the Creator, the Sustainer, the Lord of the Heaven and the Earth and all that exists; and accepts that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the last and final Messenger of Allah, is a Muslim.

Allah is the proper name of God. Islam is acceptance of Allah's commands and guidance as our Creator. Obedience to Allah brings peace. As the word Islam means peace, it is effectively the religion of every human who likes peace. A person who accepts Allah's guidance and acts upon His commands is a Muslim.

Muslims believe in all Prophets and Messengers of God on earth, including Adam, Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, Jesus (peace be upon them) and the last Messenger of God, Muhammad (peace be upon him). Islam is based on belief in all original Divine Scriptures, containing the guidance of Allah for mankind, of which the Holy Qur'an is the final and the most perfect Book; belief in the existence of angels; belief in the Day of Resurrection and the Day of Judgement; Life after death; and belief in the Islamic doctrine that every human being is morally responsible of thier own actions - good or evil. Nothing can happen without the will and knowledge of Allah. Life in this world will come to an end one day when everything in this world will perish. Then Allah will bring all human beings back to life and judge - reward or punish - them according to their deeds they did during this temporary life on earth. These beliefs form the fundamentals of religion Islam.

In the broader meanings Islam is the only religion preached by all the prophets and messengers: worship Allah alone and submit to Him alone. It is a religion as well as a complete way of life which requires submission to the Will of Allah and obedience to the laws of Allah alone as set down in the final of the revealed Books of Allah, the Holy Qur'an. Islam, in fact, is the direct relationship of a Muslim with God Almighty.


By anonymous at 17,Mar,12 00:04

filipina women are like bitches. why is that? every filipina i met HUGE BITCH!
By at 17,Mar,12 08:42

Blame it on the retarded system of their gov. presently ruled by a dumbass pres. who loves the cancer stick and publicity and couldn't care less despite his people doing the rallies all for the mad whack to straighten the fuck up and start resolving issues regarding high unemployment rate and constant oil price hike that is driving them nuts. As a shameful result, some filipinas have to desperately resort to cyberwhoring just to make it through another day.


By Cursed at 17,Mar,12 06:48

Hey buddy-
Don't lose hope. So do you live in the Philippines now? It was unclear to me whether you currently live there or are you in the US? In any case it doesn't matter.
What matters is drawing on people who can help you. Friends, family, even us. All us whacked out people commiserating with each other in cyber space. But like I've said, even venting to strangers is better than not venting at all!
Surround yourself with people who care and love you- and eventually things HAVE to get better...
Cursed


By at 17,Mar,12 10:43

(I wish this WAS a nigger suicide note)


By i love pron at 15,Apr,19 13:03

vNnLnw Looking forward to reading more. Great blog post. Fantastic.


By see pron at 19,Apr,19 04:27

f4hEZH I truly appreciate this blog. Really Great.


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