So I am a 21 year old virgin. I'm way too skinny because I have a nervous condition and get sick whenever I eat anything so I eat like a starving Ethipoian.I have no friends and have never had a gf. I am in college so I realize I should be grateful for that, but no one gives a fuck about me here, I'm just a loser and loner. I try to initiate conversations with girls and they just ignore me or blatantly shoot me down. I've been called creepy more times than I can remember. Oh, and to top it all off, I have a foot fetish. So I will be sitting in class minding my own business when a girl starts waving her feet around and gives me a boner. Every girl I've told I like feet to has told me I was weird. Most girls hate feet apparently, including their own. I do not want to become the 40 year old virgin but it looks like I'm on the fast track to becoming him. I can barely focus on schoolwork because I'm lonely and just want a gf. What the fuck is wrong with that? | |
Its Ajay Keeramkary. Also u can text me on 630 923 0223
I hear you're loneliness. I can empathize for reasons of my own. You need to love you and appreciate yourself.
If you care to read on, this is my take on it. Mozart had no friends and rarely kept friends, very socially inept. John Forbes Nash (of game theory) had a movie made about him. Had / has an impossible time connecting with others. There are countless authors, musicians and artists that are highly quirky and prefer working / being alone. It doesn't make them wrong, bad or otherwise. It makes them who they are.
Now maybe I'm over my head with this on your circumstances. There are also quirky unusual girls out there too and believe it or not, they are feeling the very same way and would say the exact same thing you are saying now.
Don't be ashamed of the virgin thing at 21. Life's experience is beyond our sexuality. ALSO to hell with feeling weird about foot fetish's. Its about the most natural common fetish of all. One man I dated years back wanted to do nothing but suck on my toes for hours. Didn't arrouse me sexually but was still all the same intimate and he enjoyed it. Who cares. its not like you want to go stalk sheep in a farmers yard. Some men like legs, boobs, smiles, hair, you like sexy feet. No weirdness in that.
Don't fall to pieces because of what you listed above. Embrace who you are, love the differences you have. Because you never know what difference you may make in life because you are unique and not the masses. Do you understand that?
My college daughter was very eccentric and all the teachers wanted to do was drug her up calling her add or adhd. Truth of it was, she was bored and very right brain thinking. She can play about 11 instruments, draw pictures that look like photos (she fools people all the time with that), has 40 peircings I'm sure, tattoos purple or green hair, depending on her mood of the week.
If I drugged this child up,I would have limited her to her extensive right brain abilities. Most likely she would not have achieved any of the above by stifling it or trying to make her fit in a cookie cutter.
It took her a long time to have a handful of friends. Still has not dated and isn't worried about it. She loves her life and eventually if it means much to her, she'll seek out a relationship with a like-minded person.
You ever want to email me, let me know. Just having a human at the other end can mean so much. I hope I was able to have you look at things a bit different. You need self confidence and self acceptance. NOT to change or wallow in depression. Its not easy but find ways that will lift you up :)
you need to focus on school work if you want a GF and girls. cuz you gotta make it and become successful and rich and that way you will get lots of girls!
Just do whatever you can to feel great about yourself. In that process you will attract people who like you for being you. None of these girls will care about what you do in the heat of passion and you don't have to tell them unless they ask.
and then you casually mention how you'd love to marry her feet but not the rest of her and she kills you by suffocating you in one of her side boobs.
...hey, one way or the other I think we're gonna read about you in the paper someday.
Second, revamp your clothing style. Your going to college? Either means you have money, your parents have money, or you have left over loan and grant money. Whatever the case, buy good designer clothes, look up some styles on the interwebs and have an actual stylist cut your hair, find a socially acceptable taste in music (I love classical too, but I'm a lead guitarist in a rock band, what girl worth putting effort into is going to go for the previous?). Hobbies that aren't creepy, like being a music film or art buff, not learning Klingon, attract girls. They just end up hating the hobby later on in the relationship. No idea why.
Once you start with these confidence builders hopefully your nervous twitches will go away a little bit. I really don't know what to say about that. Just accept that as who you are. I have a bunch of social issues. I get up in front of people on a stage cool, calm and collected, but bite at finishing sentances without studdering. Not saying its the same as yours, but everyone is different. Accept yourself for who you are, and people will start accepting you.
You can either sit there and say your not going to change, people should like you no matter what, but thats not the case. If you don't look like you care for yourself, people aren't going to want to invest the time to be your friend, or more. Going up to a girl with new clothes, a clean cut hair cut, headphones around the neck, chin up and not looking at the ground will EXPONENTIALLY increase your chances of her giving you the time of day. Its not selling out, its looking your best. Every animal in the animal kingdom does it, we aren't any different.
Displaying neediness makes you seem creepy.
There's nothing wrong with liking feet, man. I like them and I love my sex life!
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