I have had a hard life and am still miserable and donít know what to do besides cry. I know men are not supposed to cry but I feel so empty inside. I feel so betrayed by others. I was in the military and wished I had stayed in but now Iím too old to go back in. I have had many jobs but could never keep them long enough. I either got laid off or let go. I am so embarrassed. I went to school and got an education and have a degree but itís useless. Iíve applied for hundreds and hundreds of jobs. Iím either overqualified or donít have any experience or am too old. I have been betrayed over and over again and I am still so naïve that I tend to trust everyone. Itís a bad trait I have from my mother who is so honest and trustworthy that she trusts everyone. I had a good job with great money but my boss was racist and I had to put up with it. Even some of my coworkers were racist. One day when I had enough I spoke up and tried to stand up for myself after I was belittled and humiliated and cussed out in front of my coworkers. Human resources heard about it but they did nothing about it. The racism and bullying continued and I put up with it because I needed my job. After I spoke up things were not the same and I was looked at and called the rat for speaking up. I also found out that the boss and this other employee who I truly though was my friend were in together racking up overtime and splitting it. It was hard to prove but he was the only one who was authorized to do overtime. I was naïve and feel so stupid because I brought it up and the next day I was walked out. Now Iím jobless and just want to die. This all happened so fast that Iím still in shock and disbelief. I was denied unemployment because the employer told them that I was fired for misconduct. If you voluntarily quit or get fired for misconduct you are not eligible for unemployment. I am so angry because I didnít do anything wrong. When I tried to appeal the ruling I was told thatís what the employer has told us so you would have to talk to them. My wife has left me. My house went into foreclosure and Iím renting a room but now canít even pay rent. I have no family and the friends I had are really not there and have their own problems. Iím totally suicidal but I feel bad killing myself in my landlords house so Iím thinking of doing it outside of his house but I donít know where. I donít want people to see me. I am so ashamed that Iím even writing this but Iím hoping it would make me feel better somehow. When I read other peopleís stories I feel for them and feel as though maybe Iím not alone but then I feel helpless and hopeless.