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My misreable life

Posted by johnny at March 27, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Loneliness  2012 March  Society  Unemployment

I have had a hard life and am still miserable and donít know what to do besides cry. I know men are not supposed to cry but I feel so empty inside. I feel so betrayed by others. I was in the military and wished I had stayed in but now Iím too old to go back in. I have had many jobs but could never keep them long enough. I either got laid off or let go. I am so embarrassed. I went to school and got an education and have a degree but itís useless. Iíve applied for hundreds and hundreds of jobs. Iím either overqualified or donít have any experience or am too old. I have been betrayed over and over again and I am still so naïve that I tend to trust everyone. Itís a bad trait I have from my mother who is so honest and trustworthy that she trusts everyone. I had a good job with great money but my boss was racist and I had to put up with it. Even some of my coworkers were racist. One day when I had enough I spoke up and tried to stand up for myself after I was belittled and humiliated and cussed out in front of my coworkers. Human resources heard about it but they did nothing about it. The racism and bullying continued and I put up with it because I needed my job. After I spoke up things were not the same and I was looked at and called the rat for speaking up. I also found out that the boss and this other employee who I truly though was my friend were in together racking up overtime and splitting it. It was hard to prove but he was the only one who was authorized to do overtime. I was naïve and feel so stupid because I brought it up and the next day I was walked out. Now Iím jobless and just want to die. This all happened so fast that Iím still in shock and disbelief. I was denied unemployment because the employer told them that I was fired for misconduct. If you voluntarily quit or get fired for misconduct you are not eligible for unemployment. I am so angry because I didnít do anything wrong. When I tried to appeal the ruling I was told thatís what the employer has told us so you would have to talk to them. My wife has left me. My house went into foreclosure and Iím renting a room but now canít even pay rent. I have no family and the friends I had are really not there and have their own problems. Iím totally suicidal but I feel bad killing myself in my landlords house so Iím thinking of doing it outside of his house but I donít know where. I donít want people to see me. I am so ashamed that Iím even writing this but Iím hoping it would make me feel better somehow. When I read other peopleís stories I feel for them and feel as though maybe Iím not alone but then I feel helpless and hopeless.


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By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 01:25

thank you for your service. i am so sorry about what you are going through. are you not getting any help from any veterans programs? you serve your country and this is what you get? i hope not. i don't know what to tell you. please don't kill yourself. do you believe in g-d? do you believe in an afterlife? please don't hurt yourself. you have been through a lot. don't give up now. pray, my friend. and keep trying. for jobs. for life. go to church. get some help from your community. i hope everything works out for you. please do not kill yourself. g-d bless.
By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 16:28

I served 8 years and didn't do the 20 years to retire so i have no benefits or retirement. I believe in the higher power and have been praying but I feel as though it has fallen on deaf ears. I thank you for reading and writing me. When you talk to others it helps to get it off your chest and get some feedback. I feel as though my training in the military didn't prepare me for the real world. Being trained on weapons and how to kill another human being does not transfer to any civilian jobs so ever since I left the military it has been a real challenge adjusting. Now that I've really considered suicide it has made me think of afterlife. Wow! I do need to find a church and maybe get some spiritual help as you suggested because it really may help my mind calm down. Thank you again!!!
By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 16:35

You don't have to retire to get benefits, maybe not money but medical and vet home loan, etc.

Also, you can call your local labor and industries department and file a claim against the company for racism, etc. Or call an attorney who takes employee cases against wrongful doings from employer (can't remember simple name of it) but you do have rights and you need to stand up for them.

The company will have to pay you as you have the right to sue them for misconduct up help by the law of the land, lol.

By Cursed at 28,Mar,12 15:03

Dear Johnny-
Sounds to me like you'd be a pretty good candidate for a lawsuit? Have you tried contacting your local NAACP? Seems like NOW would be the time to consider being a whistle blower, so that someone else won't become victimized? It's ok, you're strong. I would seriously get a second opinion about being fired. Sounds really suspicious to me-
Your friend,
By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 16:33

Yes, I think you are right. I will contact some to see what they say. The sad part is that even if they are willing to take my case they would want money I don't have up front, unless they are kind enough to consider it on a contingency basis. hmmmm, thank you for your message.
By Cursed at 28,Mar,12 16:38

Many attorneys do pro-bono work. I can see them jumping on a case like yours- good luck sweetie!

By Truth at 28,Mar,12 16:13

If I were you, and i wanted to kill myself, I'd do it at night. I wouldn't give a shit about my landlord, but still, I'd want to do it outside.

I'd put on a red banana hammock and that's all. Then, I'd get some paint and paint "Suck my huge nigger cock" and then an arrow pointing to my banana hammock, on my bare belly. Then, I'd walk over to Country Joe's Saloon over on tenth and main and walk inside.

Then, you'll be dead, but when you meet jesus he'll be like , wow, that was dumb, and you shouldn't call anyone a nigger, even yourself, but since you didn't actually kill yourself I'll put you in limbo for 99 years, and then you can come do the lawns...i mean, enjoy the fruits of heaven.

..and then you'll go to limbo and play cards with gary Coleman for 99 years.
By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 16:35

Thank you for being funny and making me laugh.
By Truth at 28,Mar,12 17:30

You're welcome! Now, please go toward the light....

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