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Your story sucks wasp cock. It sounds like you're a one man fuckup band. All you DO is fuck things up..each and every day. You could collect cans for more than 125 bucks a week even if you were a blind syphilitic cum guzzler who lived behind Johnny Quik.
I can see why your wife played the manflute and gave you two little bastards! It's because you're a limp dick savannah fuckalope.
The only job you're qualified for is cleanup boy at your local glory hole so get your bucket and rags and head on over to Blow-N-Go and apply today!
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