I've never been a terribly happy person. I had it tough growing up and life has always been hell for me.
I was raised by my abusive alcoholic father: my first memory is being beaten up against a wall by him: being held by my throat and lashed with a belt. The mistreatment went on all through out grade and high school. I ended up in foster care twice, and my sisters ended up in an orphanage when I was in college (which I dropped out of to help them). On top of this my mother left when I was three and my father told me she was dead. Just recently I was messaged on MySpace and was contacted by my stepsister in west Virginia who told me my mother was alive and well.
I went to visit her, as she told me she had something very special planned for us. She proceeded to pull out crack rocks and offer me a smoke. I did it because I was scared and never had the acceptance of my mother, so I didn't want to ostracize Myself. To this day my parents both are worthless and neither one will help me with anything in my life. They are dead to me.
I have degenerative disc disease and outrageous continuous daily pain inu back which is nearly crippling. I can't find any doctor willin to treat me and suffer daily because of it. I started buying pain medicine on the street to take care of my back and now I've ended up hooked. I wake up every morning in a sweat and cold: pain wracking my body and feeling like shit. I just can't get off the pain medicine and it's making me do crazy stuff.
On top of this: I am a hyper intellectual with an iq of 163: and lots of ideas and an entrepreneurial mindset. I am simply unable to accomplish anything in life and have no desire to work for some other business. I want to build my own businesses but it seems as through it'll never materialize. As Calvin and Hobbes once said: "there is no greater burden than a great potential."
I just want it all to stop. I don't want to wake up again. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm Really tired of all of this and just want the rest and peace I deal is owed to me for such a shitty life. Would anyone blame me? | |
New Comment
Comments:
|
|
|
I wish you the best and hopefully there's a solution to your pain-
Cursed
New Comment