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You are smart, use your brains. Go to college.
Channel your anger to learn, as opposed to envying.
As of right now, study hard. Study your ass off.
Forget the states, work hard and you will be flying to Amsterdam, or Tokyo, Fiji maybe.
who knows,in 20 years today, you may be on your next flight to ski in the Swiss Alps, or the relax on the beaches in France.
goodluck.
Having said that, I know that things can be made better in your life. Trust that and work towards it. Jot down ideas - even minor ones - about what would improve your situation or your parents' situation. Even if it is a very minor improvement that seems too small to mention - jot it down. Then figure out what types of things might get you closer to the things that create improvement. Keep doing that until you get somewhere.
Talk with people who are living an ethical life and not struggling terribly - find out how they do it. Strive to be like that. Take on the habits and behaviors of people you admire and soon you will be like them.
In the short term, ask yourself what you could do to make your life easier right now. Could you babysit or tutor a younger person? Could you carry groceries in for an elderly neighbor? Could you walk someone's dog now and then? Could you pull weeds in someone's garden? Could you delivery newspapers on the weekend? Anything? Is there anything even remote and small that you could do to bring in $10 now and then? That $10 is better than nothing. Build on it. Keep studying for school - and keep studying life and people. You can do this!
The Psalmist cried out, "No man cares for my soul." [Psalm 142:4]. He was experiencing the loneliness of isolation from other people, and the feeling that those around him were pursuing their own interests rather than showing genuine concern for his soul.
People are often pursuing their own interests and desires, but the lesson we must learn is that people are not our source. In the midst of your isolation, you can turn to Christ and discover that His love truly does satisfy. Jesus understands loneliness and rejection. He experienced isolation from people. Because he understands, he is able to bring acceptance and love.
Christ brings you love, acceptance, and intimate communion with the God of love. With Christ, you are not alone. He conquers your loneliness by coming to dwell within you. Loneliness is removed by the presence of the indwelling Christ.
There is precious communion with Christ, when a lonely person discovers that the love of Christ is real and satisfying. There is an old saying, "Blessed are the homesick, for they shall come home." Loneliness and isolation are signs of homesickness, which can only be healed by coming home to Christ.
Christ makes us whole. His love makes us whole, and out of the overflow of Christ's love within us we can then show love and compassion for those around us. Out of the overflow of His love and acceptance for you, which heals your loneliness, you can show love and caring towards those around you.
He knocks at the door of your heart; the presence of Christ is real. But He must be invited into your heart, into the center of your being.
Receive Him; receive His cleansing and forgiveness and love. Allow Him to have the control of your life in a genuine surrender, and His loving presence will fill you, removing loneliness and unrest. May the peace of Christ fill you now!
A Prayer of Surrender:
Dear Lord Jesus, please fill me with your love, and wash away all my sins. I surrender my heart and life to you. I ask you to receive me and make me whole.
Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins, to cleanse me and forgive me. Thank you for dying on the cross for me, to make me a child of God. I turn away from all my sins, with all my heart.
I receive you, Lord Jesus, as the Lord and Savior of my life. I ask you to rule in my heart and life from now on. I ask you to fill me with your loving presence, and guard me with your divine protection.
I ask you to strengthen me and help me, to live for you from now on. I ask you to fill me with love so that I can love other people with a pure love. Fill me with love so that I can love you with all of my heart. Amen.
Much Aloha!
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