Six years ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. It was a long distance relationship and not being around her very often hurt like hell. Eventually, I decided that it might hurt less if I just ended the relationship. I still loved her; I just wanted to stop hurting. Naturally, being the dumbass that I am, I didn't realize how much it would hurt breaking up with her. I did it anyway and I have not been the same since. I am constantly miserable. I have an overeating problem now and I've gained 120 pounds over the past six years. I have almost no self-confidence now. I have no energy. I have problems falling asleep. I have problems staying asleep. I have problems getting out of bed in the morning.
I haven't been with anyone since I broke up with her. I've tried, but it's like I'm dead inside. There are things that make me temporarily happy, but nothing makes me truly happy. I feel like life is worthless. I've stayed "friends" with her since we broke up, but it's tough. She's been through a lot, as well. About a month ago, I finally worked up the courage to tell her exactly how I've been feeling. I told her how much I missed her, how not being with her has affected me, and that I want to get back together with her. She said no, of course. She said that it was because she's been going through a lot recently, which is true, and that she just needed some time to be single and work through them. It hurt to hear that, but she has legitimate reasons for why that would be true. The problem is that it's not true. She just posted pictures on Facebook of her kissing her new boyfriend. What happened to her problems? What happened to needing to be single and work through stuff? She lied to me. She lied to me because she obviously does not care about me in the slightest--not in a romantic sense, not as friends, not at all. Conclusion: she turned me down because she doesn't want to be with me. Because I'm worthless. There is no hope for any sort of happy future for me.